one year tommorrow
It seems like its been forever since I have been able to post on this site. It has been so hard, but at least I have been able to read the post here, at least most of the time. I hope that this post goes thru. It will be one year tomorrow (July 23,2010) since Bryan has gone to be with the Lord. How have I survived these last 12 months? It has been so stressful to say the least.
I stopped wearing my wedding band. I know I know, I was one of the ones that was so adamant about never taking my ring off. It got to big and rather than put it in a drawer or possibly lose it I put both of our rings on a chain, mine fits perfectly in his, I wear it less now because I don't really wear jewelry. The only thing I ever wore on a daily basis was my wedding band, the only time I ever took it off was when I was making a messy meal. This was a really BIG STEP for me.
I'm so lost and lonely. I asked my daughter if she would think that I am crazy if I consulted a psychic, she that if I think that would help me then I should do it no matter what anyone thinks, problem is I don't know how to find someone that is honest and not someone that is just trying to scam you. If anyone can help with this I would appreciate it.
I don't know how I am going to make it through tomorrow, I have been so depressed the last few weeks. I hope that will pass after my one year mark. I've been thinking about going to the griefshare support group this sunday, of course I've thought about that for the past month, but something always seems to come up or I just plain forget about it until its to late. I don't know if it will help but I have to try and find someone who can help me fulfill my promise to Bryan, I don't know how I will ever stop grieving him, but I promised him that I would not grieve him forever.
I am so tired, I love you and miss you terribly. I pray that somehow you send me a sign sending me peace. Oh how I would love some peace. Until then I go one one breath, one day one step at a time until we meet again I love you Bryan