I tried writing yesterday but was crying so hard I couldn't see the word at the bottom= got it wrong 3 times and I couldn't send it. I was so upset I went to bed and cried all night. It has been a year since Roger left me. I have heard all of the cliches all of the pat answers but the one that is coming now is you have to get on with your life.
All I can say is "What Life?" I have no life. Sure I have kids and grand kids and they say I need to go on for them. But they have their own lives and yes they will miss me when I go but no one will miss me the way I miss Roger. No one will know the loneliness -the complete aloneness I feel even when people are around.
I have tried-took a drive to my sons house up north. But I was driving alone-no one to talk to -to share the scenery with-and when I got home I almost could not walk into the house because I know there would be no one to talk to about my trip.
I am trying so hard. But have no idea what to do when the loneliness, the missing him so bad I can't stand it, when there is no one to share my thoughts with, no shoulder to lean or cry on, no one to tell me I will be OK. I walk though the house wondering why I am even trying. I clean the house and work in the yard but there is no one to appreciate it.
I have gone to dinner a couple times with neighbors-out with my sister but I still come home to an empty house and am lost again.
The pain is greater than day one-they say it will stop but I really don't see it happening in the near future and until then what?
Please God let me get the word right at the bottom!