Only 14 Day

My Life Ended The Day My 14 Day Old Daughter's Life Ended. That Is How I Feel. As Soon As I Heard That My Precious Love, My One And Only Child, My Baby I So Longed For Years Heart Stopped Beating And She Did't Make It, My Heart Broke And Too Hasn't Healed It Self.

My Beautiful Daughter Was Born Premature At 33 1/2 Weeks, 7 1/2 Months; That's 6 1/2 Weeks Early, A Month And A Half Early. What A Tragedy I Thought That Was In It Self. My Water Broke More Than A Week Prior To That, The Doctor Wanted My Baby To Stay Me Until 34 Weeks, 10 Days More, After Being Hospitalized For 8 Days I Went Into Pre Term Labor, The Day I Was Months Away From Being Prepared For Came.

I Am A Single Mom Since My Angel Baby's Father Is Domestically Violent To Me While Pregnant. I Wish I Could Say He Never Hit Me In My Stomach While Pregnant, But That Would Be A Lie. I Wish I could Say It Only Happened Once, But That Isn't So Either.

After Hospitalized Alone I Gave Birth To My Beautiful Daughter. She was Premature And So Had A Low Birth Weight. I Did Not Get To Hold My Baby When She Was Born, She Was Sent To The NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). I Did Not Get To Bond With My Own Baby During The Magical Hour, A Baby's First Hour Of Life.

I Love My Daughter So Much. Although She Was Not Planed She Was Nervously & Joyfully Accepted By Me All At Once. Since I First Saw Her At Only 8 Weeks Pregnant On Ultrasound, I Fell In Love With My Child. I Saw My Child Growing InSide Me Only 2 Weeks After Learning I Was With Child & Expecting. I Saw Her Tiny Body, 2 Arms, 2 legs, And Her Head. So Tiny And Dependant On Me For Everything In Order To Even Be Born. I Wanted To Do What Was Best For My New Tiny Love She Had Stollen My Heart So Soon. I Quit Smoking, And Quit Drinking Alchol, And I Quit Using Street Drugs As Well. Cold Turkey And You Know Id Be Lieing If I Didnt Say It Was Hard. But ... I Just Thought Of Her And The Urge Went Away. With Each Craving Vanishing By The Mere Thought Of What I Saw On That Ultrasound Machine That First Time.

Upon Being Admitted To The NICU She Was Reliant On Icilet TO Keep Her Warm, An IV For Fluid, And A Gabage Feeding Tube To Feel Her Throught Her Nose Since She Was Premature & Couldnt Do These Things On Her Own.

When I was Waiting Until I Was Allowed To Go See Her I Recalled The First Time I Felt Her Move Inside OF Me. I Was 17 Weeks And I Looked Over My Right Shoulder As Someone Had Tapped Me, And Since There Was No one There, Only The House Wall I Was Leaning Against I Then Realized The Touch I Felt Had Not Been My Shoulder, but Saw My Stomach, Now My Little Baby Bump Not Allowing Me To Button My Jeans. I smiled Form Ear TO Ear And A Single Tear Rolled Down My Cheek. I Was So Happy And How Im Minutes From Admiring And Adoring That Special Someone Face To Face, My Precious Baby.

My Little 5 Pound 5 Ounce Baby Girl Spent Just Two Weeks In Hospital NICUs When The Lord Took Her Back To Heaven. She Never Got To Even Come Home With Me. I never Got To Hear Her Even Laugh Or Even Coo. She Was Too Young And Was Taken Too Soon. She Passed A Month Before She Was Even Due To Be Born. Still Now I Think How She Is Still Supposed To Be In My Stomach Growing And Me Still Pregnant, But She Has Already Died. Her Life Is Not Expected To Have Even Started Here On Earth And Yet She Has Already Been Born, Lived Her Life, And Has Passed And Now Is Gone Forever. She Will Never Play With Toys, Or Meet All Her Family, Or Go To School, Or Love Anyone, Or Get Married Or Have Any Children Of Her Own, She Will Never Go To College, Or Have Any Friends. All Of My Hopes And My Dreams Of My Child Have Been Killed And Are Unable To Come True. It Hurts Me So Much To Know I will Never See My Child Take Her First Step, Or I Will Never Get To Hear Her Say Her First Word, I Will Never Get To See Her Play With My Dog, Or Meet And Play With Her Cousin Who Is Just Within A Year Of Her Age.

I don't Know How Or When My Broken Heart Will Ever Heal Itself. That Seems Impossible To Me Now. It's Not How Its Supposed To Be A Child Dieing Before Their Parents, ts Just Not Right, Its Not Fair. Its Say To Say But I Expect One Day My Parents Will Pass As I Know No one Lives Forever. I Know One Day That Day Will Come, I Will Have Known That One Day That Day Had To Come And It Will Just Be Their Time When It Comes. I Will BE Sad And Morn Their Loss, But I Will Accept It; Life, Death. But To Have My New Baby Girl Die After Only 14 Days Of Life. Nothing Could Have Ever Prepared Me For That. I Never In A Million Years Saw That Coming OR Prepared For This. Instead I Was Frantically Preparing To Bring Home My New Precious Bundle Of Joy From The Hospital, And Now That Day Will Never Come,

All The Preemie Clothes I Had Just Bought That Week, I Can't Return Them Now, I Cant even Survive This Im Sure. All The Baby Shower Gifts I Have Just Received Days Before ... I Don't Need Them Now, I Don't Want Them Now. I Don't Need Them Anymore. None Of Them Matter Anymore. Nothing Makes Any Difference Anymore.
Before I was So Unhappy With Life And Then When She Came I Had A Reason To Live. I Was So Happy You Have No Idea. Most Are Happy And Then You Hear Of Post Pardom Depression. Well I Had Been Majorly Depressed For Such A Long Time Then The Day She Came Into This World I Was A New Person I Didn't Think Any Of The Ways I Felt Before. She Gave My Meaning And Purpose. She Game My Life A Reason Worth Living And She Made Me So Happy. She Was The Answer To My Prayers And She Was My Antidepressant. Now Gone Dead, So Too Is My Reason To Live.

If Anyone Knows Anything That May Put A Smile On My Face Or That Can Help Please Don't Hesitate To Share. I Greatly Appreciate And Welcome Any Comments You May Have OF A Glimmer Of Hope It Gets Better At All. I Do Not Like This Life That I Am Living Now. Thank You.

-The Bereaved Mother Of The Little Girl Who Died After Only 14 Days.

Comments for Only 14 Day

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May 30, 2013
pateau syndrome
by: Anonymous

So sorry to hear the about all yer losses. It's heartbreaking. I buried my baby girl a week and a half ago she was 13 weeks and 3 days. We found out she had something seriously wrong with her two days before I had her. She had pateau syndrome, incompatible with life the doctors said, I went into shock, couldn't believe they were talking about my baby! She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, I fell in love with her when she was born and completely forgot that she was so sick I was that ecstatic. She made me the happiest and saddest I had ever been. They told us she wouldn't live very long. We took her home after 2 weeks, and she gave us the best 13 weeks of our lives. Now its all over. I just feel numb.

May 13, 2013
Only 14 days
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. I know when a parent losses a child at any age it is very hard. I lost my 1 month old baby sister. I saw how hard it was for my parents . What helped them was knowing that she was in heaven and they would see her again. It did take them a long time to heal. It might help to talk to other moms who have lost babies .

Feb 15, 2013
Sorry my dear
by: Anonymous

Sorry my dear. Your little angel is in heaven. I lost my 7 day old baby afew days ago and i know how it feels. May God keep you strong.

Feb 03, 2013
Takes time
by: Anonymous

May the lord comfort you on your time of loss.and know that you will see her again. Hold strong to the faith it's hard to see that and we want ll the answers . But Imelda does heal even this pain shall pass but you will always be mommy.

Feb 01, 2013
Sending Comfort...
by: Michael's Mom

Oh sweetie... My heart reaches out to you in your grief. You will always be the Mommy of your little angel. This life is so unfair. Your little one brought so much into your life... you will love her always.
Don't let anyone tell you to stop grieving. When you are ready, you will move on.
Sending comfort.... Michael's Mom

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