Only me and lost my mother

I lost my mother on 29th November 2013. It was very sudden and unexpected (massive heart attack) although she hadn't been in great health for a year or two before this. I have no brothers or sisters and I was extremely close to my mother. We talked every day. To make it all worse I had just given birth to my third child 18 days before my mother passed away. Thankfully they had met twice and unbelievably the last time was only 2 days before she died. I am absolutely heartbroken without her and have cried every day about her. I miss her terribly. Christmas and New Year were awful - I was so aware of the empty chair at Christmas dinner and I cried off and on the whole day. My little daughters christening was just over a week ago and that was so difficult without my mother. My birthday was 2 days ago - again another lonely event. I am close to my father and feel so bad for him living on his own now. I also have my mothers sister to keep an eye on - she collapsed the night before the funeral and I spent hours that night looking after her and eventually had to get her to hospital. She's not married and has no children and there was only her and my mother. I live 2 hours from her and 1.5 hours from my father. I have 2 kids at school and a 10 week old baby. I really have no idea how things will work out and 3 months ago I never saw all this happening I am a strong believer however that things take their course and all pans out in the end - it's the only thing I can cling to. It's been 7 weeks since I lost mammy and it's only now I feel the fog is lifting a bit. That doesn't mean I'm over it by any stretch of the imagination but I am starting to function again - just in a different way. It's been a life changing event and I won't be the same person ever again. All your stories have helped me and I know it comes to everyone but when it's happening to you you take all the help and support you can

Comments for Only me and lost my mother

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Jan 25, 2014
Thanks
by: Anonymous

Thank you Barb. It's good to hear from someone in the same position as me.

Jan 23, 2014
Dear Only,
by: Anonymous

I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I am an only child also, and lost my father suddenly in January 2013. I can relate to everything you wrote in your post. I also have a husband, and two children, but my life has completely changed, and I will never be the same. I constantly worry about my mother - she lost her soulmate, and she is not doing well - it is so, so sad. I knew that this would happen one day, but I never expected it to all change so suddenly. I feel so lost. My father missed out on so much this past year, and my children miss him terribly. This website has helped so much - know that you are not alone in your sadness and grief. It is a long, tough road, but you will manage to get through it. Take one day at a time, and take care of yourself. I wish you comfort in the days ahead. You will be in my thoughts - Barb

Jan 23, 2014
Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your kind words Doreen. I have good friends but again we all live far apart. My parents-in-law are great but again miles away. It's true people do get on with their own things ( and I wouldn't expect them to put their lives on hold). You find out who your true friends are though at a time like this. I remain baffled and astonished to this day that my sister-in-law has never so much as shook my hand or said I'm sorry about your mum!! You will find when your daughter goes on holiday you will have much more strength than you realise. As human beings we never realise our full potential. Thinking of you x

Jan 22, 2014
Only me and lost my mother
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your mother. To be an only child is a very lonely place. My niece is an only child and often talked about how lonely she was growing up. Now you are faced again with loneliness having lost your mother. Being alone is something I always dreaded and now I face it with dread having lost my husband of 44yrs. 20 months ago to cancer. It is early days for you and you may very well face some bad grief days ahead. I thought I was functioning better but hit a bad spot of loneliness. My daughter lives with me and even though she is an Adult and working and living a fairly independent life. I can't. My daughter has planned a holiday/vacation in Thailand with her friend in the summer and I am dreading being on my own, with only the TV for comfort. facing life alone makes me so unhappy. I do try and structure my day, but somehow I often can't be bothered. You have children and you will find this a tremendous comfort and strength. My husband misses out on his 2 grandchildren as your mother will also miss this part of life. I hope that you have supportive family and friends as this helps a lot. I had good support from my family, but everyone has now gone their own way. My heart goes out to your father who will be feeling so lost and lonely also. Cling to each other as much as you can. I wish you better days ahead and the Peace and comfort of God in your grief.

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