OTHER GRIEVOUS LOSS

"Grief Is About More Than Just Death"


Other grievous loss...

We have had numerous emails from folks grieving the loss of important things in their lives, other than a loved one. Some examples: loss of job/identity, loss of home to tornado or fire, loss of children to divorce, loss of health/mobility and loss of financial security.

They have written in asking for a venue for them to vent about their own special type of bereavement; to contact others with similar losses; and perhaps to help other visitors by reaching out. This Other Grievous Loss  page gives them that outlet.

There is perhaps no other type of grief that is less understood by outsiders. Our hope is this page will help promote understanding of grief from other losses, and provide a unique type of comfort for those in this situation.

Please read the following email from Terri, and you will perhaps better understand "Other Grievous Losses":


"I suffered the grieving process, but did not lose a person. I was shocked to learn it was possible. I just wanted to ask that you have a "vent" page for people like me. I was in a car accident that caused many broken bones, many surgeries and many months of recovery.

I was so angry, depressed and stressed that I had to go to a councilor who explained it as the grieving process because I had lost my independence, freedom and my "not me" belief. I am still in recovery and would like to know I am not the only one and maybe help someone else to understand."


Have you lost something precious in your life like Terri did? Feel free to post here about any loss in your life that has left you grieving:


Ready to tell your story?
  It's very easy, and there is no cost. Just click in and start writing below:

(*Tip: Compose your story first in Notepad or other simple word processor, make all your corrections, then copy and paste into the box below. We also ask that you please do NOT type in ALL CAPS; but we would appreciate if you did capitalize "I". Thanks so much for following these simple guidelines.)

READ THESE VERY IMPORTANT CAUTIONS FIRST


Other Grievous Loss

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What Other Visitors Have Posted

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Regret abortion 
When I found out I was pregnant I was 19, I had been with my boyfriend for about 4 months. We both were on low income and just started our new jobs and …

What did i ever do so bad? 
Like the title says, I ask myself most days what was it I did that was so bad that my daughter keeps hurting me like this. first off, 7 years ago me and …

Will I ever be happy again? 
Almost 6 years ago my husband was murdered. I went threw 1 1/2 worth of court and trials. The 2 men were sentenced to life in prison (thank God!) Soon …

Loss of my father and my marriage.. 
My father was very ill and dying last year. He suffered from end stage congestive heart failure, strokes, blood clots, low blood pressure, an arrhythmia …

Grief that wont end. 
My best friend starting dating my brother when she and I were 21. Soon after they had 2 children. My middle brother and I were very close. For the most …

A lonesome mom 
My only child DIED soon will be six years this coming June. 30. He had a massive heart attack in his sleep. His four year hold DAUGHTER was in the …

It's been six years since my divorce! 
It’s been six years since my divorce. I’m even remarried to a wonderful man. But I still have very strong bouts of anger, frustration, and a sense of loss. …

I am losing my husband 
This is my third marriage. I was on my own for 10 years before marrying again - I did not expect to and I was enjoying my life. But he was someone I …

I can't cope any more 
6 years ago I fell and sustained a double fracture to my femur and was told I might never walk again. I did walk. But while I was in rehab - for 10 months, …

Lost my husband to Gambling and Escort Addiction 
Can you feel my pain? My husband and I have been married for 7 years. My whole entire marriage was made up of lies and false hope. After our first …

Divorce after trauma 
Five years ago, I had been married for about 15 years to a man I considered my best friend. Our marriage wasn't perfect, but it was filled with unconditional …

Broken Hearted 
My husband of 13 years and I had/have a remarkable marriage. Very loving, very trusting, very respectful, very passionate. We had it ALL. I just discovered …

How do I deal with this 
Sept 1981 I was raped and because I was a Christian I refused to have an abortion. The person who raped me was a roommate to the apartment caretaker but …

Mom 
We lost my sister Kimmie who was mentally retarded it was a complete shock to our family she was the heart of our family and there were no warnings my …

Mad at myself 
I have been in a relationship for 5 1/2 years with a man that now I feel I never knew. About 2 months ago he broke up with me in a text. That's what you …

Losing my baby to a monster  
Almost three years ago now, I thought I met the man of my dreams. I was a single mother of two small children, putting myself through college and battling …

A Loss That Feels Greater Than Death 
I feel I have been grieving for the past two years. First I lost my career. I worked hard for 10 years, passing up vacations and fun free time to get ahead …

Why did such a good mum suffer and lose everything ? 
Lost my mum recently I cared for her, she cared for me through so much. Broken marriage, abusive relationships and phsyical restrictions. My mum had …

the list goes on and on.... 
miscarriage, 1991/infertility, 12 years - 1987-1999/miscarriage - 2006/2 miscarriages - 2007/mother-in-law suffers stroke - 2008/she dies in 2009/husband …

LINDA ORMOND 
oMy marriage was very up and down it was either a whirlwind of romance and love or he was very abusive and controlling still is. We had to sell house because …

Unfaithful Husband 
I occasionally had thoughts or fears that my husband of 2.5 years was unfaithful but he always had an excuse or way to talk himself out of corners. I believed …

My mother is dying 
My mother is an undiagnosed schizophrenic and is now dying from renal failure. Ours is a complicated relationship and I sometimes feel I haven't been …

Watch the grieving process at work.  
I am a victim of sexual abuse, trying to make a way to survivor and thrive r. After reflecting on my feelings and actions, I realized that they fit the …

I don't even know how to title this? Lost.. Heart Broken... Numb??? 
The mad hatter: Alice? Have I gone mad ? Alice: I am afraid so. You are entirely bonkers. But I will tell you a secret. All the best …

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Loss of Hope 
By comparison mine seems insignificant to the tradegies that have been told here. I have, was!, been with my boyfriend for 8 months, during that time …

He took every thing even me! 
I was married for 12 years, I traveled and entertained with my husband I loved him very much, we had a home payed for and was debt free, one day I found …

loss of husband to depression 
My story is this--my husband of 17 years, father of my two sons ages 13 and 11, was stuck with severe suicidal depression and hospitalized on November …

Miscarriage 
I was 22 years old and with my live in boyfriend for 3 years when out of the blue my period was late. After taking a few tests it was confirmed I was pregnant. …

My dad was my mom, too. 
I was four and my mother became ill. No one mentioned what was wrong with her. For two years, I thought mommy was getting better. A sunny, warm Saturday …

Great friend and also my cousin 
Three years ago in march I lost a great friend. In high school I was bullied he protected me . Was nice to me when no one else was. He saw how great I …

Life where does it start again 
My husband passed away 09/19/12. I am told by many time to let go. Phone calls for Terry and then I expline. So many dark nights filled with tears. Days …

Double Loss: Leg and Ex Husband 
I was searching for the Seven Stages of Grief to read and printout for myself… When I came across your site. Pt. 1…On that faithful Sunday morning of …

Double Relationship Loss 
Long story short, my lover whom I had lived with and shared a life with for 1.5 years had given me an ultimatum of acknowledging that I was his girlfriend. …

Divorce and abortion 
Im carter im 24 years old and well taken care of thank God.My wife left a year ago, i deserved it. Over the months of loneliness I finally found a girl …

Kyle, by Terri (Hickory, NC) 
My oldest son, Kyle, 24 years old, died of an overdose from the drug, Fentanyl, on June 15th 2012. My story is almost identical to Laura's story of her …

Shawn 
My second born, my beautiful 22 year old son, Shawn, died of a heroin overdose on September 30,2012. We lost a beautiful soul to a drug addiction that …

Upside Down 
My younger brother died June 6, 2012. I was out of the country and back in the US within 24 hours. My mother was alone when she found my brother. My brother …

Loss of my best friend 
I met my absolute best friend when I was already engaged to someone else and fell in love with him almost right away. He was in love with me as well but …

Too Young 
I am 28 years old and was with my fiancé for 8 years before he died of colon cancer at the age of 29. It's been a few months since his death but I still …

How to survive after lossing everything 
In the last few years I have lost my great husband of 30 years from cancer and Mother, Father and brother. Then I lost my farm and all of my beautiful …

Home sold. 
The economic downturn has upended many lives. Ours included. Many people endure far more challenging adjustments than the separation from a building. …

Losing my best friend. (ro6179) 
On the page prior to this there was a list of Losses. Lost Mom, lost Dad, Lost spouse I would have to say yes to all of them. And all in less than a year. …

some one who can walk? 
I have had been with the man i love ten years. I have parkinsons he was with me through finding out to cutting all my hair off for deep brain stimulation. …

I loved "The Notebook" but what I got was just a note. 
I have been married for 12 years. Not the perfect marriage but I was grateful to have a husband who provided, a community to belong and a cute house to …

A different kind of loss 
Grief is usually associated with death. Of a parent, spouse, child or friend. But there is a whole other kind of grief. Grief for the person who’s still …

Estranged daughter & grandkids 
My daughter is 37 y/o and I have an 8 yr. old and 2 yr. old granddaugter. My daughter got into drugs Meth really heavy and stole my life. My life savings, …

8 years not sure what it really was 
Me and my husband met each other young he was 21 I was 19. we dated he proposed early, I said yes. at this time we were partying I was clinically depressed …

Too many losses in a short period of time..... 
On October 5, 2005 was the beginning of the end of what life was. This is the day we found out about my husband's cancer diagnosis. It was inoperable. …

Bunny 
we found a bunny about a month old and he had an injured eye we treated him but didn't know how far the injury got. he started to get weaker. soon he …

Click here to write your own.

I had an abortion and now I want my baby back 
My name is Jessica and I am 23 years old. I haven't seen a story on here relating to mine and I hope no one gets upset for me writing about an abortion. …

my pain won't go away 
I was with someone that I loved deeply for 10yrs. We lived together, him, I and my daughter. When my daughter went away to college, my boyfriend broke …

Sue 
Ten years ago me and my husband started our own computer business...and The Control Freak Emerged!....But was not as bad as a year ago last April. That …

Failed to enter University 
I do not know if it is appropriate to describe failing to enter University as 'grief' but I surely felt it that way. A year has passed so far, but I am …

I'm lost, don't know what to do? 
I've been engaged for a year after a realtionship that lasted two years before ... We were in love, happy and planning for our wedding, and two months …

Loss! 
I'm 18 and the past 3 years I have been going through a really really ruff time. My step dad and mum got a divorce, My great Grandma dies, my best friend …

Cancer? What? Me? 
The doctor called, it's March 2011. "You have a type of sarcoma" she said. At that moment I had my first out of body experience, I had just turned 51, …

Sad Grandma 
I had an argument with my adult daughter and now I am unable to see my grandbabies. I miss my 12 year old grandaugher, the eldest and the baby nearly …

The Last Time I Lost My Husband 
My husband was and still is an alcoholic. The first time I lost my husband, his mother threw him out of her house while we were starting out. I was …

Amputee 
Click each photo to enlarge. I was a 54 yo, woman and I was riding my motorcycle on June 27,2011 during my lunch break. A lady made a left turn and …

Mourning Jeffrey 
I am thankful that I found this website as a way of healing myself from the worst grief that I could ever imagine. Jeffrey was someone else's …

Moving 
My son, his girlfriend and unborn baby are moving. Right now we all live in BC and my Son and I are from Toronto. Kody, my son got involved with a girl …

Its too much 
My story has a few twists and turns, first off I am a recovering addict with a couple years clean. At about 18 months clean my husband of 16 years told …

A Different Loss 
I have had two losses. One was a son has been sentenced to prison. He has a medical condition and I don't know if he will be taken care of there. …

loss of my 15yr old daughters dad  
my 15yr old daughter lost her daddy suddenly to a heart attack on 12-23-2011. he was found dead in his sleep by his father and he was only 43 years old. …

Kathy 
My son who is 35 years old is going to prison next week for a drug charge. He will have to serve 19 months before he can possibly be paroled. He has …

Did I make the right decision? 
My husband and I have been together 1.5 years. We have been marrid for 3 months. While we dated I endured him constantly lying to me, hidden emails, his …

The Loss of My Husband to Betrayal 
Warning: My words come from deep-seated pain and despair. My story is unpleasant and nothing as clearly-defined as the loss of a loved one to death. …

The Loss of me 
My sperm doner abandoned my brother and I when I was still an infant. My Mother worked to support us, she worked like it was the only thing that was keeping …

Young Divorce 
I have been divorced now for about a year. My husband and I dated & lived together for 9 years including the year that we were actually married. I have …

Victoria593 
I've navigated a string of losses and now I face one that I cannot seem to overcome...leaving my children and my home for nearly 30 years. I've lived …

Sent away 
When I was 15 my mom decided I was too difficult so she sent me away to live with my dad. It meant leaving my home in england, my sister, mother, grandparents, …

Mourning, severe heartache, trying to adjust.... 
I am 61 years old. I moved here to New Mexico 14 months ago to stay with my daughter and son-in-law while "getting on my feet." I was my mother's caregiver …

Deceit and Betrayal. My daughter isn't mine? 
My ex while I was deployed spent all of our money because of drug use. Not quite knowing of what happen because I gave her control of everything while …

Happy Holidays? 
Grief, well it’s what many of us live daily. When I was 10, I’m now 55, I came home from school to find my Mom dead. I always bee lined it home because …

Click here to write your own.

"I've lost my son, Chunk...Now I've lost everything else!" 
Well, it's been 7 yrs. since I've written about the loss of my son, Chunk. I also wrote about my Danny, that shot himself in front of me. I've made plenty …

Losing a love 
I lost a "boyfriend." I met him online almost a year ago, and we went out a couple of times this summer. We have talked everyday since, either online or …

I lost my child hood 
I was sexually abused since the age of 8 to the age of 16 In counseling I was told I needed to go through the grieving process I don't know where to …

Multiple deaths I realized I never fully grieved 
When I was one week from graduating high school I had one of my oldest identical twin brothers kill himself. I was young and my parents are great supportive …

Oddly Enough, "Loss of my Job" 
I had been working with a company for 13 years. It was the longest of several jobs I had held, including being in the United States Navy. I was recently …

Bogged down in continous loss 
Like Terry I too was in a car accident. I went from a strong, healthy, independent person to a semi-invalid. I will never regain a fraction of my health …

In love with my best friend.  
For as long as i can remember I'm in love with this guy. Boyfriends came and went, but I always had a soft spot for him. I never told him, but over the …

The Cherished Photograph 
I have a picture of my mother and I, taken on July 1st at the Canada Day celebrations. We both looked happy and healthy, full of energy and smiling from …

Grieving for other losses 
I too have lost more than a loved one and am grieving as well. In spring 2009 I lost my job. Shortly afterwards, our youngest daughter and family, …

Lost My Health and Part of Myself 
I was a gardener, I was a social worker, I was a runner. When we decided to start a family, I was estatic to become a mother. I couldn't wait to add a …

The Loss of My Marriage 
I am grieving the loss of my kids and my marriage of 7 years. Yes, it wasn’t very long, but her and her 2 year old daughter were my life from the moment …

Loss of my marriage 
I am grieving the loss of my 23 year marriage. Even though the decision to end it was mine I am still grieving. I did not get married at 17 thinking that …

MY WONDERFUL FATHER-IN-LAW, GONE BEFORE HE DIED 
My father-in-law was the sweetest person ever. he loved everyone and everyone loved him. about 3 years ago, he got Alzheimer's and gradually left us …

Hoarder 
For 13 years or more I have been a hoarder, just recently my niece has cleaned out my carport, shed, and 1 bedroom. Now that she is moving into the living …

Loss of trust, caused by betrayal 
I learned recently that my husband propositioned my sister - almost 2 years ago, and learned subsequently, that he was seen by another sister, out having …

I "lost" my son when he turned a teenager 
I miss my son. He was funny, lovable, loved school, loved learning, wanted to do things with us, spend time with us, talk and ask questions. Then he …

Loss of Mother and Home 
Not only did I lose my Mother 8 months ago but now we have put our house up for sale. I didn't think I would take this so hard. But putting this house …

Here we go again... :( 
I am Terri, the 'grieving the loss of me' author. I was in an accident on Dec 9 2009. I went from bed ridden for three months, to wheelchair for three …

i lost custody 
i had my son for 11 months and he was taken from me because of an abusive relationship i found myself in with the father.

Strike Two 
At the tender age of 22 years, I married a man I wasn’t in love with for all the wrong reasons, hoping to discover happiness and avoid parental control. …

Too Much, Too Fast!!! 
Hi, My name is Allie and I am grieving the loss of multiple friendships. I had the picture perfect summer and got very close with many women at my church. …

Not saved from divorce 
The basics first, I have been married for 19 years with four children. For the past several years I have felt lonely in my house, even though being around …

Sorrow for lost children 
It has been over a year. But it feels like yesterday. And the week before that yesterday there was so much hope. I have a happy photo of myself to remember …

My Wife Raped 
This event took place on 12 Jan 2011 I cant even begin to understand her grief now, but I know I need to be there for her. As far as her story goes she …

A Silent Loss 
Last Summer my husband and I after getting married wanted to begin starting our family and we knew we faced challenges due to "Infertility" anyways we …

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Hurtful Decisions 
At present, I am going through huge personal family problems. On top of that, my very good friend of 31 years died not so long ago. She was single …

I’m sad for what my daughter goes through 
I guess I’m grieving what my daughters “normal” is. Why her? My daughter was born on October 7, 2006 with a condition called Esophageal Atresia /Tracheo-Esophageal …

a different love and loss 
I have always had trust issues. Somehow I learned to live with them and adapt my relationships. That was till I met Him. I am happily married with a small …

The Day My Appendix Bursted 
I was out of town on a work trip, and suppose to be heading back to L.A. I had a somewhat upset stomach all week. When Saturday rolled around and my …

problem with Adoption 
Yes we are hurting, but everyday it gets a little better. It will therapeutic to write out what happened so… it started when my wife and I wanted to start …

Attempted Suicide 
In the early summer my 'boyfriend' of 5 years attempted suicide in his car while I was out of town. He had moved to be near me and the future looked good …

A complicated hysterectomy 
Early this past spring I was told by my gynecologist that I needed a hysterectomy. There was a mass of benign cysts causing problems. At first it devastated …

Out of the Abyss 
I have finally left the International Churches of Christ six months ago after being a member for ten years. For ten years that group has been my life. …

YaYa 
I was involved in a car accident also, and although I was not hurt in the way mentioned above my boyfriend broke his back, his foot, and had a deep gash …

Abandoned Once More 
Eight months after the death of my wonderful husband, I began to experience the searing pain of loneliness. Through the early months, I'd felt very …

My Precious Angel 
My son is now 23 years old. Bill was always extremely close to us: his mom, dad, and brothers. A strange and controlling relationship began one year ago. …

Infidelity-I am lost 
No one could have ever told me that my husband's affair with his "admin" and another woman could have cut so deeply. I have lost my foundation of trust …

Grieving Guatemala 
I moved to Guatemala leaving my job, friends, apartment, security, financial stability and my confidence behind. After I got there, the support of the …

Wondering 
I am wondering if I am going through a grieving process. My loved one is in a corrections facility. I have only known this individual for eight or nine …

Grieving the loss of me 
On December 9th 2009 I was on my way to work, in my Suzuki sidekick, and skidded on ice, sliding from the merging lane of the southbound lanes to the middle …

Suffering from years of Victimization 
There were times when I felt like I could not go on with the voices I was hearing in my head, continuing to throb at me concerning past events in my life …

Lost my Grandpa and Foster Sister 
I lost my foster sister and grandfather a month apart, almost 5 years ago. I feel guilty, sad, and weak. No one is still grieving them, and it hurts to …

i lost my gma  
my grandma was like my mom and i miss her so much she was there for me and help me and y did she have to go and she taught me how to cook and i miss her …

Rachel 
As a result of medical negligence , our daughter Megan was severely brain damaged at birth leaving her totally reliant upon us physically and mentally …

My best guitar that i owned 
Click on each photo to enlarge. Its been over fifteen years now. I was behind on my truck payment. Things got worst when I had to have my appendix removed. …

Loss of Two Tennis students 
For four years I coached two girls how to play tennis. They were normal kids....but gifted athletes...they had problems like any other child. I gave them …

My Dad...My Angel 
Hello to all who are grieving. I feel like I have lost my father. My father is suffering from Alzheimer's Disease, and in jail. He has been in jail for …

He was like a brother to me, and my only friend at university.... 
I am a full time university student living in Australia, and I have recently lost a very close university friend of mine. He was like a brother to me, …

Lost Motherhood 
I loved my ex husband. I loved him so much until I tolerated a lot of physical and mental abuse from him. I met him on my 20th birthday. I had my share …

Life as I knew it 
Life in 2011 was amazing. The prison ministry I was involved in, filled my heart with joy and excitement. My cleaning business was at an all time high, …

Click here to write your own.

no not me 
Terri, I believe that you could have done without counseling , I know what it's like when it happens to one self, I learned talking to God out laud at …

Abandonment and loss of "living". 
5 years ago my boyfriend and I became domestic partners. Things where good and comfortable, we adopted a dog and we dreamed of vacations and activities …

Year of the Gauntlet 
In 2008 I was living the American Dream. I didn't own a 4 & a half BR two story home. But, my husband & I were renting it at a song. It had come to us …

letting go and grieving 
I wanted my family to be loving supportive and stable while I grew up. They were abusive, dysfunctional, and I was the scapegoat for much of the bad that …

Self Esteem and Trust 
At the age of 7, I moved into primary 5 (year 5)at school and lost what I believe to be my self esteem and trust. My teacher was a young man name APB …

My home 
My home. 2years ago i lost my home. Why? is still jelling in me. why???? it stil hurts that i lost all i had many feel good feelings there. the …

Son Been taken from his mother and never given back!!!!!! 
i wrote a story last night about my son i think i didnt put enough in and i would now like to write the real truth behind people who stole my Baby! Im …

my son!!!!! 
when i was 16 i met a man we fell in love and we were married when i was 16 and a half i was pregnant with my daughter which is fine but when i was 19 …

My "COOL NEPHEW" Justin (UPDATED Sept. 2010) 
My Cool Nephew, his name is Justin. who made ME feel cool, as we adjusted… The stories he would tell me, I knew he trusted… The stories …

Click here to write your own.

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