Our 20 year old son took his life...

by Linda Braun

On October 10th 2009 the Marines showed up at our door. They were sorry to inform us that our son Joseph (Joey) had taken his life. My life has been in turmoil ever since then. It's been 15 and a half months. I feel worse than I did in the beginning. I was diagnosed with depression. Put on medication. I have since gone off the medication because I felt I needed to "deal" with the grief. The anxiety is back. I feel like I want to jump out of my skin. I feel like my heart is in a vice. It's 2:19 am and once again I can't sleep. I don't want to even go out of the house. I no longer have many relationships with my family and friends. I struggle with my faith. I have to force myself to eat. I am soooo tired.......

Comments for Our 20 year old son took his life...

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Feb 14, 2011
I encourage you to step into life again
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain. My son also chose to end his life. It was a total shock to us. I was unable to cope for a while. When I returned to work my friend had told everyone not to ask about how I was doing. This was great for me because I had a place to go where I felt safe and could just go and do what I had to do; a place where my son was not part of my day. I am doing better now; I have been able to help others and be involved in their lives which makes me feel needed. I have found that in helping others I am healing. It is not and will never be far from my heart. I will always grieve for my son and what could have been. Do not give up your life. Find others who need you and I hope you will begin to heal.

Feb 04, 2011
Sharing in your grief
by: Anonymous

It's after 5AM and I am still awake. I understand insomnia. I understand the pain of tragic loss. I would feel my stomach drop to my toes if I saw men in uniform approaching my door. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing our children leaves an ache that is hard to comprehend unless you are one of us. We are millions strong. We are those left behind who loved and will always love, no matter what. Why can't moms save their children? We can't surround them with protection when they are no longer babes in arms. With freedom comes choices. That is God's plan. Even though there is risk, it is still the best plan. Yes, I often over the last 5 years, have felt like I was starting all over again in the journey of grief, but each time, now as I look back, I can see that I didn't land as far down in the black hole of grief. Thanks to God's mercy, the sun does come out. It becomes easier to see the bigger picture. It is easier to realize that God never leaves or forsakes His children. I am there for you, friend. Write to me at "impossiblejoy@yahoo.com" if you like. Sometimes it helps to share and I am there to help carry your load. Gracie

Jan 28, 2011
love and healing
by: kay

Dear Linda
I am so sorry for you and your loss....I do not know how we survive loosing our children...It has been almost 9 months since I lost my 23 year old son.I too had to take medication...and was gradually weaned off it only to find myself ,suffering anxiety attacks over the least little thing and not coping well at all.I had to go back on them again...otherwise I felt I would not have survived.I am still as sad as any mother who has lost her child....as you are feeling too.We love our children so much,they are part of us.They will forever live in our hearts.Linda I want you to know You are not alone ,I am thinking of you with love and sorrow.I want to reach out and offer you much healing and love along the journey we have before us...Please take care xxx

Jan 27, 2011
I too lost a son....
by: Shirley

Hang in there Linda. You are not alone. There are many moms out there who are suffering. Just reach out and hold our hands. I know that tonight I need some hand holding too. I'm missing my sweet Dimitri. Leukemia took him after two years of suffering on August 9th, 2010. He was only 23. It makes no sense to me and tonight I'm reaching out to other moms so that I don't feel so alone.

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