Our beloved son Blake

by Pamela Gassett
(Point, Tx)

On May 11, 2012 we got that terrible phone call no parent ever wants to get. Blake had been hit head on by another car that was driving recklessly, he died before we got to the hospital. I am Blakes mother & I think I did remarkably well until this last week & suddenly reality has set in. I cannot stop crying, I seem to get nothing accomplished. My husband of course is grieving also & I'm trying to be supportive. We have a strong faith in God & know we will see Blake again but right now the pain is all consuming. I am being told all these different emotions are a normal part of grieving, I want to smile again, I want our family to be happy again. May God bless us all. Pam

Comments for Our beloved son Blake

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Jun 16, 2012
Hoping
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your lost. I lost my grandson February the 29 from a car crash of this year.I did not know a person could experience such pain as I felt when they told me my grandson was dead.He was more like a son to me.I felt as though I was dreaming and when I wake up the nightmare would be over.There are no coforting words a person can say to help your grief.Only God and time can help you.I pray that in time you and I both will find some solace to our loss. My grandson died this year 2012.One of my greatest pain was the fact that he died all alone on a cold road.I tell myself that the angels from heaven had to have came down to carry him to heaven, it's the only way I can find peace.Nothing can prepare us for an unexpected death of a young adult child.I shed tears for ny grandson Marquis everyday.In time I have to hope that my pain will get better.

Jun 13, 2012
To those that have commented to me
by: Pam

Thank you so much, each of you, Gracie, Doreen, SoSadDad Ernie. I am sorry for each of your loss also, your words were so comforting to me & you are hurting too. May God bless & comfort each of you in a special way. Love to you all, Pam (Blakes Mom)

Jun 09, 2012
To Blake's Mom
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss, Pam. We are never prepared for loss of our child and sudden loss gives us no time to prepare. The mind is numbed at first or I believe we would not survive. The heart begins to feel after reality sets it and the tears of rage gush forth. It's awful I agree. The flow of life outside should stop! I couldn't understand laughter or the birds singing. How could it all continue after my son killed himself? We are surrounded for a time, but those folks soon return to their busy lives and we return to....what exactly? It's been 6 years for me and I have learned a few things along the way. There is no rule book for grief. It does what it wants and each person even within the family is different. I had to learn that I still have 2 children and one of them is in my heart forever, but he is at peace and no longer knows any pain in this life. It is hard to grasp that they can no longer make plans, fulfill their dreams, have families of their own. All very painful things for families left behind. But I have learned that I don't grieve alone. Heaven grieves too. I have learned that I have hope and through hope, I have learned to love again; to have joy again. I have learned that anything good comes from outside me. I have learned that the bigger picture of life includes eternity and God plans to have all his children who love him and want to spent eternity with him will be there. He makes no mistakes, even with those children taken early. They are always his and on loan to us. Time for us seems to drag when our hearts are empty, but they won't always be so. Weeping does endure for [many] nights, but joy will come and God will wipe away all tears. This promise is my joy and it will be yours in time too. Don't rush the grief. It won't always be in the driver's seat. Blessings, Gracie

Jun 07, 2012
Your beloved son Blake
by: Doreen England

Pamela
I am sorry for the loss of your son Blake. No matter how strong one's faith is in God, you will still have to go through the grief process and what you are going through is normal to not want to do anything and this is O.K. take the time out for you and your husband. Grief does not come all at once. It happens in stages and you will not always be in a private place when grief strikes, but let the tears flow.
Pain has to be expressed before the healing can take place and allbeit it will be a slow process. Parents don't expect their children to die before they do. This is hard. Get support as this will help you at this difficult time.
My sisters and their husbands are lifting me up and I don't know what I would do without this help. I lost my husband of 44 years marriage to cancer 4 weeks ago and I buried him 12 days ago and it is hard to go on without him. This is a long and hard lonely road to travel.

Jun 07, 2012
Where to start?
by: SoSadDad

My goodness, I don't know where to start. I wish I could take this pain and sadness from both you and your husband. I will speak from experience, having lost our two adult children, Mel in 2009 and Jenn last year. And I must add that this is only my reactions, and you might be lucky or strong enough to do much better. Brenda and I are crushed. It is unimaginable to lose one child, then we lose the other, too. None of the emotional experiences of losing a child can be called normal; I will call them expected, yes, but never normal. You may feel like your going crazy, and I guess to an extent, we are. But it is also expected. I poured out my heart to complete strangers (I still am, aren't I?). I cry over nothing, it seems, although they were everything to us. You might notice that friends, coworkers and even family will shy away from you. They just don't know what to say, and they fear upsetting you and making you cry. Little do they know, that's you anyway. And they don't know just how much you want them to say Blake. Soon, much too soon, some of them will start expecting you to be over it. They are not being mean, they just don't undersstand that you'll never get over it. And the truth is you really don't want them to understand it, because there is only one way to do that... Hold close to your husband. Brenda and I are closer than ever. We learned from the start that while we both grieve, and share our grief with eachother, it's still a personal grief for each of us. If you have a friend or relative who really cares and will listen, talk about Blake and about how you are feeling as often as you can. I would also recommend going to www.copmpassionatefriends.org to see if there is a chapter near you. They are run by grieving parents, and it's the one place you can go where everyone has an understanding of how you feel. You can talk, cry or just sit there. I wish I had good news to give you. The "old-timers" at Compassionate Friends tell me it does get better, less intense, and you learn to live with it, and think of the good times instead of only the tragedy. But after 2 years and 9 months since Mel, then 9 months since Jenn, I'n still too new to believe them. Lastly, hold on to your faith. Question God, over and over. It helps. But know that we don't understand His ways, and won't until we see Him face to face. He is really all we have to hold on to.

God bless you,

SoSadDad Ernie

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