OUR DAD OUR FRIEND OUR STRENGTH ... WE LIVE OUR LIVES WITHOUT YOU BUT IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

by SUAN WILSON
(SEAFORD RISE, ADELAIDE SOUTH AUSTRALIA)


MY DAD..... I COULD WRITE AS MANY THINGS POSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE MY DAD BUT IT DOES NOT EVER MATCH UP TO HOW MUCH WE LOVED HIM AND MISS HIM NOW HE IS GONE...
IN JUNE 2008 OUR DAD WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CML (CHRONIC MYLEOID LEAUKEAMIA) IT WAS A SHOCK TO FIND OUT THAT DAD WAS SICK HE WAS IN THE ARMY FOR 35 YEARS AND WAS STRONG AS AN OX AND WAS NEVER SICK!!!!!
OF COURSE HE NEVER SHOWED THAT HE WAS WORRIED OR CONCERNED ABOUT HIS DISEASE AND ALWAYS SAID HE WAS FEELING GOOD...
HIS CONDITION GOT WORSE AND IN DEC 2008 HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AML (ACUTE MYELOID LEAUKAEMIA) AND WAS TOLD HE HAD 6 WEEKS TO LIVE IF NO INTERVENTION WAS DONE.
OF COURSE DAD WAS ADAMANT THAT HE WAS GOING TO FIGHT THIS AND SURVIVE AND BECAUSE HE WAS SO POSITIVE ALL THE TIME WE ALWAYS KEPT POSITIVE TOO...
BUT AFTER 4 MONTHS OF CHEMO, CLINICAL TRIALS, LENGTHY HOPSITAL STAYS, SICKNESS AND WATCHING DAD DETORIATE TO HALF HIS SIZE AND HIS BODY SLOWLY GIVING IN TO THIS DISEASE WAS HEART BREAKING.
MUM AND DAD WERE MARRIED FOR 46YRS, THEY HAD 6 CHILDREN 5 GIRLS AND 1 BOY 14 GRANDCHILDREN AND 1 GREAT GRANDCHILD SO YOU CAN IMAGINE THE SUPPORT NETWORK WE PROVIDED AND DAD WAS NEVER ALONE THROUGH ANY OF THIS TREATMENTS AND LENGHTY STAYS IN HOSPITAL..
BUT IN THE END THE DOCTORS DECIDED THAT THERE WAS NOTHING MORE THEY COULD DO AND HE WAS SENT HOME.
I LIVED IN THE MANNUM ABOUT 2 HOURS AWAY FROM ADELAIDE SO I MOVED INTO MUM AND DADS HOME WITH MY 6 MONTH OLD AND LEFT MY PARTNER AND 2 OLDER CHILDREN AT HOME. IT WAS A VERY DIFFICULT TIME FOR ALL OF US BUT IT WAS SOMETHING I HAD TO DO AND I DID NOT EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT MY DECISION.
FOR 3 WEEKS WE CARED FOR OUR DAD AT HOME AND IT WAS THE HARDEST THING (NEXT TO DAD PASSING AWAY) I HAVE EVER DONE.
ALL THE EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS I FELT HAD TO BE PUT ASIDE BECAUSE WE WERE DADS SUPPORT AND CARERS AND HAD TO BE STRONG FOR HIM NOW. AS A DAUGHTER TO BE CARING FOR OUR DAD AND WATCHING THE DECLINE OF HIS CONDITION TAKE OVER HIS BODY AND KNOWING THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE WAS SOMEDAYS TO MUCH TO BARE.
BUT ALL THROUGH THIS DAD WAS STILL ALWAYS POSITIVE HE NEVER SAID WHEN I DIE OR IF I DIE AND STILL HAD HIS SENSE OF HUMOUR SO WE NEVER SPOKE OF DEATH OR DYING WITH DAD....
ON JUNE 22ND 2009 DADS CONDITION WORSENED AND WE KNEW SOMETHING HAD CHANGED.. IT WAS OUR BROTHERS BIRTHDAY AND AT 7 PM THAT NIGHT WITH ALL HIS CHILDREN BY HIS BEDSIDE HE TOOK HIS LAST BREATHS AND PASSED ON PEACEFULLY KNOWING WE WERE ALL THERE WITH HIM...
IT WAS A VERY EMOTIONAL DAY TRYING TO SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BROTHER KNOWING DAD WAS IN HIS LAST STAGES, BUT WHAT DO YOU DO? WE HAD TO CELEBRATE OUR BROTHERS SPECIAL DAY AND NOW ON THIS SPECIAL DAY WE ALWAYS SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BROTHER AT DADS PLACE OF REST.
DADS WISHES WAS TO BE SCATTERED AT PORT WILLUNGA BEACH WHICH WAS A SIGNIFIGANT PLACE FOR US ALL AS WE HAD LOTS OF HOLIDAYS HERE AS CHILDREN.
DADS INVOLVEMENT WITH THE ARMY AND THE COMMUNITY OVER HIS 63YRS OF LIFE, THE COUNCIL HONOURED THIS WITH A CHAIR THAT WAS PLACED AT PORT WILLUNGA BEACH OVER LOOKING THE SEA AND THIS IS WERE HIS ASHES WERE SCATTERED.
HAVING THIS BEAUTIFUL CHAIR AND PLACE TO COME AND BE WITH DAD IS VERY SPECIAL TO ALL OF US AND ON THE 22ND OF JUNE EVERY YEAR THIS IS WERE WE COME TO SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BROTHER WITH DAD ON THIS UNIQUE AND VERY SPECIAL DAY.
4 YEARS ON IT STILL FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY DAD LEFT US AND THE EMPTINESS IN OUR HEARTS CAN NEVER BE FILLED WITH THE LOVE WE HAD FOR HIM.
I DON'T THINK ANY OF US HAVE BEEN THE SAME SINCE THAT DAY.... YES YOU DO START TO LIVE AND MOVE ON BUT THE LOSS AND EMPTINESS IS ALWAYS THERE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY TO FILL IT
I LOVE YOU DAD AND MISS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING....
YOUR LOVING DAUGHTER

Comments for OUR DAD OUR FRIEND OUR STRENGTH ... WE LIVE OUR LIVES WITHOUT YOU BUT IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

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Jul 09, 2013
Our Dad our friend our strength...We live our lives without you but it will never be the same
by: Doreen U.K.

Suan I am sorry for your loss of your Dad to cancer. 4yrs on for you all and nothing changes. Your Dad is still gone and you are all having to still adjust to his leaving this earth the way he did suddenly. One just never knows what life throws at us. Going on through life and one day you get hit with a bombshell. It was like this for me as well. My husband cut asbestos as a young man in his 20's not knowing this was a dangerous material. There was no Health and Safety then. My husband was looking forward to his retirement and had 2yrs. to go when he was made redundant from his job and due to having a cough went to the doctors. He was sent for a chest xray which showed up shadows on the lung. A biopsy later we got the devastating news my husband had an incurable, inoperable, aggressive cancer caused by working with asbestos. the cancer journey was horrendous with my husband of 44yrs. having chemo, radiotherapy, then developed blood clots, pneumonia, shingles in the eye because the Oncologist was seeing patient with this condition. He suffered so much pain and things going wrong over a 3yr. battle. He died 14 months ago. Life will never be the same. We are also 5 girls and one boy so having siblings support was so good to have. Your mum is in the same place as me. A widow at such a crucial time in life when retirement is for them and now gone and she has to go through the rest of her life without her life partner/husband. This is the greatest loss in life losing someone from our close family to death. We find a way to go on in life but the quality of life changes forever.

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