Our dear John Joseph

by Wina Javier

He was born with so much expectancy.
He would have been our first born, and the first grandson of my in-laws, as my husband's their only child.

My parents-in-law prepared a nice baby room for him and cabinets full of new baby clothes.Name all of those,we had it.

We took up LaMaze lessons so that he would be a natural born baby. But on the day of the so called contraction,it didn' progress even for 15 hrs of waiting.

We were advised that I need to undergo Ceasarian delivery. I was in tears frustrated and tired.
But doctors said the baby's distressed. Finally, a very handsome yet blue baby was born. But he had been dependent on oxygen and other tubes.

I didn't get to nurse him. I was also asked to go home as it is useless to pay for a room while wait for indefinite. I went home frustrated.

On the sixth day, we were told that we need to purchase some feeding tubes as his reflexes improved.

But on the seventh day, I felt different.I was very restless and called the doctors and hospital.
They couldn't give information over the phone.
I was weary but I felt I will lose my baby.
I paused and cried and prayed.

I sang this song "Oh Lord you're beautiful. Your face is all I see. And when your eyes are on this child your grace abounds in me"...I felt I was going to lose my baby. But there was peace within after that song.

My husband arrived in few minutes and I told him, I know...and he asked how come I knew? I said,I felt it and I prayed,the Lord gave an answer...
we both cried and smiled the tears of joy.

And later as we were appeased, we agreed to pick nice clothes for him, and a bonnet especially to protect him from draft "as if..."..

Then we said goodbye to our dear John Joseph.

It had been some 23 years or so....
But this special baby, our angel is still in our hearts and never will change....


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