(Oak Grove, Mississippi)
June 8, 1987 the doctor exclaimed, "It's a boy!" Tears of joy flooded down my cheeks. Twenty three years exactly, June 8, 2010 tears of pain flooded down my cheeks as we listened to our pastor delivery the eulogy of our beloved Jace. The pain is great. I believe that I can feel my soul, it hurts so deep.
I drive to the levee where his Jeep went right down into the water. No one could discern any sign of struggle. No brakes, no sliding, just a path straight down into the water. His heart beat and breathing was regained in ICU for 3 days, but we think God took him on to heaven as the first responders were trying to get him out of his Jeep. It has been speculated that something abnormal caused his accident. Maybe so. I have decided not to speculate or question.
People have been so good to us. People have shared our pain. I knew there was love in this world, I just didn't know how much. Now I know how much love is in this world. I thank God for all of the love.
Grief is overwhelming. My suffering is immense. I am at the mercy of God to deliver me through this valley of the shadow of death. I worry so much for my wife and daughter. Both are spiritually very strong, but I still worry for their hearts. I pray to God Almighty that He too delivers them through this valley. That they will endure and be as close to whole in reasonable time. I pray that we as a family will hold each other close and bond together and grieve together and come through this together.
The wake, church service and the graveside rites were conducted just as Jace would have instructed. We could not have asked for anything more appropriate. Even down to the pallbearers riding in the bed of a truck for the 1000 yard ride to the cemetery. It was so Jace-like. A close friend wore full military uniform. We had seen him always in fatigues, but to see him come into the church dressed in military perfection, it was such an honor.
One of his lifelong friends sang the Carrie Underwood song, "Temporary Home" to perfection. I was worried as I had never heard her sing before. I thought "Uh Oh". Was I wrong. I had never heard the song before. It was such a perfect song. And I seriously doubt Carrie Underwood could have done a better job. I was overwhelmed.
I pray for strength to go forward. I pray for wisdom in dealing with grief. I pray that the love that was so evident during the immediate days before and after the funeral will continue to wrap us for the coming days.