Our Son, Brad

by Lorraine
(BC Canada)

We lost our 54 year old beloved Son, Brad to cancer on Nov. 23 2013. We knew it was bound to happen as he had 5 different kinds of cancers & things kept getting worse. It still didn't make it any easier to accept. He had all the chemo, radiation, etc. that he could have. We first found out he had cancer 1 1/2 years ago which was a shock to us. Brad was so healthy & took such good care of himself. He never smoked, he played sports & was a happy, healthy, caring, Christian man.

Our hearts were broken when we found out he had cancer & things never got better, just got worse. He never had remission or anything like that to give us hope, just more & more cancer & more & more pain.

Brad kept telling us he was glad it was him as he could endure the pain & thanked God it wasn't any of us. I wished it had been me as I am 76 years old & have lived my life - he hadn't. Parents aren't supposed to bury their children!!

Brad had 2 grown children that he loved dearly & was so happy to be blessed with a little Grandson in June of 2012. I could see the tears in his eyes when watching little Lucas playing & running around & he said to me, "Mom, I will never see him grow up." That broke my heart & I told him, yes he would see him from heaven. It just wasn't fair. We are Catholic & believe in the afterlife, thank God for that. I still feel cheated that our Son had to leave, especially when I see other fellows his age out & about having such a great life with their friends & families.

We do have 2 other children that we love very much too, thank God - but nothing or no one can ever replace our Brad. He always planned the family get togethers, parties, etc. He loved holidays, birthdays, etc. & made them special for everyone. He was the Son who always phoned his parents each day to see how we were & to say he loved us. As a matter of fact, the last thing he said to me the night before when he went to bed was, "Mom, I love you so much." We always said to each other, "I love you more!" He would say, "Impossible, Mom." * we would laugh.

A terrible void in my life & my husbands, but I know we must go on, but it's so hard.

I tell people to hug their children more often & always end with "I love you". That is so important. I hold my dear Son in my heart, but so wished it was in my arms. God bless you all & my heart aches for any of you who have lost someone you love.

Comments for Our Son, Brad

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Jan 22, 2014
Thank you all & still missing our dear Son so much.
by: Anonymous

I thank you all for your comments. It will be 2 months tomorrow that our dear Son passed away & the hurt is still the same. I am going through 'what if' "why?' stages now as well. I try not to cry in front of someone but sometimes I can't control the tears. I find the 'shower' the best time for me to have a good cry. I still miss Brad so much & know I always will.

We have a grief councilor coming over this afternoon for the first time. A Dr. recommended it to us. I hope this helps some as to how to deal with it.

I am so very sorry for all your losses as well. It's the hardest thing to go through - losing a loved one. No one should ever have to bury their child.

God bless & be with you all.


Jan 06, 2014
Your Son
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have never loss a child. So I don't know what your going through. But it must be unbearable. May God bless you and your family

Jan 04, 2014
So sorry
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry to read about your son. I hope you will find comfort on this website and can begin to heal. Wishing you peace, Barb

Jan 04, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

I'm so sorry for your loss,my son was 39 when he died in Nov 2012 the hurt and loss is not describable . It crushes the heart and leaves the parent so lost in sorrow and pain. Thank you for sharing your love and loss,it helps as we walk this path ,not alone but with others who understand. My heart goes out to you and your family as you try to adjust to this new pathway that is so hard. One day at a time is all we can do as we struggle onward. Your love shines,that can be seen.

Jan 04, 2014
so sorry:(
by: Deb

Your relationship sounds like I have with my kids. I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my beloved brother on Father's day this year to suicide and it is almost unbearable.

Your story touched my soul since the sadness just comes right at me as I read your story.

Please read, Zig Ziglar's book, Confessions of a grieving Christian.

He lost his daughter to illness and this book was very good to read and might help you.


Jan 04, 2014
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your wonderful son. It doesn't matter how old we get. We are still not supposed to bury our children. My son, David, was 24 years old when he died away 5 years ago of a very rare disease, auto-immune hepatitis, where the body attacks the liver as if it were an enemy. He died of cirrhosis. It was so horrible watching him die. We who have lost children must stick together, for we are the only ones who understand each. other

Jan 04, 2014
Our Son, Brad
by: Doreen UK

Lorraine I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved son Brad to cancer. He was still so young. I can identify with Brad's sadness of never seeing his grandchildren grow up. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to Lung cancer 20 months ago. He was 65yrs. and worked with asbestos. His tumour was incurable, inoperable, and aggressive. I nursed him for 3yrs.39days and he died in a lot of pain. I had to watch him die slowly as I cared for him. He had so many complications. He really suffered. He will never see his two baby grandchildren grow up. My heart aches every time I see our grandchildren and know what he is missing. Being a Christian I have this Blessed Hope of an afterlife and know I will see my husband again. This gives me the hope to carry on living. But the loss is still so very hard as Life has changed forever and I feel the VOID in my life. It is so very painful for parents to have to bury their children. I worry about my 3 Adult children and worry about losing them. It would hurt me more. To lose a child/Adult child is the worst pain a parent can endure. It is only God who can carry us through this pain. May God comfort you all and give you His Peace.

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