Our son Jaie
(Springfield, Ohio, USA)
Our son Jaie was killed when he crashed his car on Mother's Day of this year. He was 27 years old. It's been nearly a month and I feel like there is a gray fog over me, nothing seems to matter much these days. I can't let myself go into a hole where I would like to go because we have another son who is almost 29. He has been a pillar of strength for my husband and I. His name is Beau, he did everything for us and yet he is grieving too because he and his brother were pretty close, had been good friends all their lives with little jealousy or competition.
Jaie was a licensed family therapist in our state. He received his Masters Degree in 2010, did his internship and was hired full time. He graduated with honors and was an Eagle Scout. He seemed to have a lot going for him. Many of his clients were former drug addicts, people who had served time, who had lost their families and jobs due to drugs.
He was very knowledgeable about drugs, he had to be because of his work. However, a couple of years ago he started taking Adderall, prescribed by a psychiatrist who Jaie convinced that he had ADHD. That was the beginning of the end but we, his family, had no clue until it was just too late and he had become a user.
His behavior had begun to change, he yelled at me at times which he had never ever done, he became paranoid and delusional during the last 6 months, he started distancing himself from his family, he started getting lots of traffic tickets, he finally lost his job. We learned that his boss and supervisor both had tried for some time to get Jaie into therapy but he never would go. They finally had to let him go because he was not doing his work and would not get help. I cannot fault them, they tried. Our oldest son and I both pleaded with him to stop when we finally realized what he was doing.
We had begun getting suspicious when we learned he was running out of pills. He wasn't receptive at all to our attempts to get him to quit, he got angry and quit talking to us.
On Mother's Day a policeman tried to pull him over but Jaie took off and turned down the wrong way on a one way street. He lost control of his car and crashed. He died immediately and his car was totally gone. The only good thing is he that he didn't suffer, he never knew what hit him. No one else was killed. We believe if he hadn't been on the drugs he never would have behaved so irrationally. And we know that he had his prescription filled on April 29, 60 pills for 2 months, and by May 11 he had gone through half the pills. He also consumed large amounts of caffeine, he had lost a lot of weight and went days without sleeping.
I feel like we should have known, should have been able to stop him but honestly we never ever suspected him. We just thought he drank a lot of energy drinks. We trusted him and believed him. It is still hard to say he was an addict but he was.
Our lives will never be the same. I'm sure I will be happy again one day, I have to stay strong for our other son and my husband but right now life is just so hard and sad. I can't believe yet that I will never see him again.