Our two daughters are gone
Click on each photo to enlarge.
Sunday, 3/11, is Mel's birthday. She would be 34 if she were still alive. We lost her on 9/20/2009 to heart problems and an overdose of drugs. My wife's birthday is tomorrow, the 10th, and our 39th anniversary is St. Patrick's Day. Their significance, however, is clouded over by the 11th. So it's been almost two and a half years since she died. And it's so hard to believe that it's now been nearly eight months since Jennifer died at the age of 28 on 7/16/2011, from the same cause. If I don't sound emotional enough, it's that I've cried, screamed and pleaded so much that right now I'm just kinda numb, a short respite from the rest of my miserable helpless and hopeless life. We will survive for each other, my wife and I. But just how enjoyable can it really be? My seasoned Compassionate Friends tell me it won't ever be over but it will get better. I didn't believe them after Mel and I don't believe them now after Jenn. When it hits me in the gut that it's real, that they are gone for the rest of this life, I can't imagine it ever getting better. I love the Lord without condition. But I sure don't understand this situation.