Out of Nowhere

by justine
(USA)

My Daddy was my everything. He passed away on October 11, 2012 due to an aneurysm in his brain. I said goodnight to him at 10pm the night before and was awoken at 12:30 in the morning to be told he was being rushed to the hospital. He passed away early that morning. I am still in total shock, no one expected a healthy man like my father to die so early in his life. I feel so many things. I feel blessed, for all the support I have had from family and friends. I also feel blessed for nearly fifteen years with the most amazing man ever. Regardless of who I date, or marry, no guy will ever top my Dad. I feel angry, as well. It just doesn't seem fair to me that my Dad, who was so wonderful to people and also important to so many people had to leave the world so soon. I feel like I am more and more aggravated with everything now, even things that would not have bothered me before. I also am of course deeply saddened. There is just something missing every time I walk through the front door of my house. I miss my Dad with all my heart. The one thing I want is to have him back. Like I said, I am in total shock. Who would expect this to happen? I can't help but regret not spending every moment I could have with my Dad. He and I had a great relationship, but I still am a whiny, somewhat bratty teenage girl. There are some things I said to him I really want to take back. Everyone that knew my dad loved him. He was very smart, hardworking, funny, and outgoing. I miss seeing him work on his cars in the garage, and I miss going out on the boat with him. I miss sitting next to him at dinner and laughing at all his silly jokes. I got an A on my geometry quiz and it broke my heart I couldn't run up to his office when I got home to show him. He would have been so thrilled. It is the small things that I will really miss. I still feel like he is going to come back. I keep waiting for him. I feel his presence in the house. I swear when my mom and I ride around in his car, the windshield wipers will randomly go back and forth, almost like he is waving from heaven. I know my Dad would want my family and friends to continue to live our lives and be happy, but it sounds easier than it is. I don't cry, or feel sad anymore...unless I am alone. That’s when the waterworks come. I just cannot believe he is gone. RIP to my inspiration, my best friend, my Daddy. Our love, friendship, and beautiful memories will never be forgotten. 10.11.12<3

Comments for Out of Nowhere

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Nov 28, 2012
praying for you
by: Katherine

I just want to start off and say how sorry i am for ur loss. My prayers are with you and ur family at this sad time. I lost my father also, maybe not in the same way how ur father had died but he to died on that day. October 11, 2012. I was with him the day he died. We lived in different states and when he got really sick i left home to be with him by his side,that was a Monday. When Wednesday came I call home for my children and husband to come here. They got here that Thursday, my children got to see their pawpaw, which he was trying so hard to open his eyes to see his grandbabies. 7 mins later after leaving his room he passed away. I didnt get that chance to hold his hand when he died but my sisters got to. I was more trying not to belive he was taking his last breath and that i was never going to see him again. I didnt say my goodbyes to him i just told him we will be together again one day. There is not a day that goes by I dont think or cry about him. I cant tell you it gets better bc im still grieving but I just try to think that he is in heaven looking down on me and waiting for the day when we are together again. I know people are all different but what makes me feel good is when my kids and I talk about our memories about him. I hope it gets better for you. I don't know you only from what you wrote but you will be in my prayers!!!

Oct 28, 2012
My thoughts are with you
by: Anonymous

Hey,

I've just read your story and firstly I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. I looked at this page as today marks the 8 years anniversary of my Dads death. I felt I needed to comment as my Dad passed from the same sudden medical condition.
It was such a shock for our entire family too and something that seems to be more difficult because you never got to say goodbye.

I wish I could tell you that it gets easier every year and that the pain and anger leaves you. But the truth is, 8 years on, I still don't deal with it. I miss my Dad so much.

I was 19 when he passed. The best advice I have ever been given that I heard only today was this.

"It's not ok, it's never going to be ok. But I can learn to live with it."

I hope that you find comfort and peace.

X

Oct 27, 2012
similar
by: Mary

Hello there, your story really touched me and made me tear and made me think of my dad. I lost my dad in 2010 that also had an aneurysm and the night before I didn't even get to say goodbye to him. There are so many things that we should say to people because we never know what could happen to them the minute they leave our sight. Having friends and family comfort you is a good way to take the pain away, but when you're alone it also helps to have a journal and write down what you feel. It could help, but dealing with the loss of the one special person who you always looked up to isn't something that that goes away over night. It takes time and the first thing that I was told to do was "accept".
email me if you want and we can chat more: felicianomaryrose@gmail.com

Oct 24, 2012
WOW
by: Ted

WOW is all that I could think of when I read your post. You are such a mature daughter that is dealing with a deep and intense loss with such a profound sense of understanding. Your dad would be so proud of you! I understand your grief somewhat as I too have lost my father (he was my dad, my best friend and my business partner) rather suddenly and more recently my companion (Ron Serediuk - a memorial is on "Their Page" on this site) also very suddenly. Life will go on, your grief will eventually turn to treasured memories and he will be walking by your side spiritually at all those important moment in your life. You will carry on his proud legacy in a very fullfilling manner.... Take care and also take comfort that there are many to help share your burden as you move forward - lean on them when needed and their reward will be that you are there for them to lean on when they need it...

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