Out of the Abyss

I have finally left the International Churches of Christ six months ago after being a member for ten years. For ten years that group has been my life. All of my social and spiritual needs were taken care of in that church. It was not hard to find dates or friends (not real ones though). I thought I was in the perfect group. Then one day I became disillusioned with the group's false promises and I decided to leave.

After I left the group in March 2010 I went through a period of numbness for about two months. Then the pain struck. Not only did I face the challenge of working to get my life together again, I have to also get through this emotional pain so it can run it's course. Oh did I mention the group uses techniques to screw with a person's personality?

So after ten years of that I am going through psychological difficulties as my natural personality slowly asserts itself over the personality programmed by the group. Most of the time I would just prefer to be alone since when I am around people, the pain just drives me crazy. So I work to try to set up social opportunities such as hang out times with coworkers and a support group with people who have just left abusive controlling organizations (cults).

I definitely miss all my old "friends" and am grieving the loss of the group itself and the illusion of security it provided. I am definitely on my way. As the old rock song goes "It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll!"

Well thanks for reading this.
J.