painful truth

by Broken

Life is full of pain,
things i dont want to accept.

I miss my husband Cody so much.
Its been 6 long months and I still can not
find the strength in me to go back to work or get involved with anything like a hobby.

I have a 4 month old baby he is gorgeous.
He was born 2 months after Cody was killed.
My son keeps me going,.

I know someday soon I will have to re introduce myself to the world and do things with my little boy, he deserves happiness.

I am in so much pain but I have to accept the facts, the truth.

My husband is gone, He was killed Jan 16 2012
he was taken from us, life is cruel.

Acceptance is the hardest.
Wish I could give up, but I cant I have a child..
how is anyone suppose to live with such pain?

Comments for painful truth

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Jul 29, 2012
the beast called grief
by: Anonymous


I remember people telling me at least you have your child to raise...I thought to myself and never told a soul, How can I raise a child when I can't even take care of my self. I was non functional for 6 -9 months and as the 1 year mark came and went I thought that I would be o.k. The first year is so unbearable with memories surrounding you while you try to raise a child without the one that brought the very life into this world.

Telling you that a it gets easier as time passes is about the worst thing people can tell you. I know that with time the pain is not searing and unbearable as in the beginning.

All you can do is let grief guide you. You can not control grief or think that the 5 or 7 stages of grief are something that you can time or expect to be over. Many ups and downs the roller coaster of grief.

It is a HUGE adjustment losing our Love. Love with no where to go is awful. But you will see the smile in your child and see his father with every day that passes and your love will have somewhere to go.

Please come here it is a lifeline to sanity and as always...
one breath one step at a time...

Jul 24, 2012
painful truth
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear Broken,
I am so sorry for your loss of your husband Cody. CONGRATULATIONS!!! for the birth of your baby son. I am just so sorry you are going through so much grief at the same time tryin got cope with bringing up a baby. You will feel more grief having to do this alone. Like all of us WE only live one day at a time. don't look too far ahead. Get friends and family around you for support. Not just in the early days but ongoing if you need this. Find a grief counsellor. This will give you ME TIME. So that you can talk of your loss and find some perspective through your grief. More so because you are bringing up such a young child. If you are breast feeding you will transfer your grief to your son and if he is fretfull at all this would be the reason. Good support will help you here. Life is so very cruel. Living is so difficult after a loss. It is going to take all of us a long time to move forward and be comfortable with life again. We will never get over our loss. WE just learn to live with it in a new way where the pain is less and less over time. We have to GO THROUGH our Grief. We can't skip over this to get to the end. It is a process. And a very Painfull Process.
It is such a beautiful hot sunny day in England today and I can't enjoy it as I am feeling so very dizzy and unwell. I haven't been out of the house for a while. this is what grief does. I don't feel like doing anything. Perhaps the start of depression. I wish you well in the days ahead and hope that the support you recieve will help you feel less alone and in this difficult place of Grief.

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