Papa Bear

On November 19th 2009 after getting off work and heading out to see my family and pick up my son from their home, my husband left first then my son and i left 8:35pm. The next time I seen my daddy ("Stubby" Randy) was at 2am November 20th on the floor of my parent's home. My dad was dead.

My dad was my sanity, my lifeline, my everything. He still is, just in a different way. I will never forget my son and dad putting apples in their shirts, singing children's songs and telling my dad I love him. I will never forget my son trying to play peek-a-boo with my dad dead on the floor. Motorcycles, loud trucks, semi trucks, guns, crops, beer, Nascar, football; these are the things that I can't stand to see/hear still. I still have a very hard time on the 19th and 20th of the month. I still can't not cry when I think of my dad.

Comments for Papa Bear

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Jul 21, 2010
by: Sally

Hi there I also know how you are feeling as the same thing happened to me last October 2009. I too have my last memory of my dad dead on the floor all cold. Not very nice at all!!!!! All i can say is that you seem to go 1 step forward then 1 back but time does get a little easier.

It is such a shock for us and at least they are not suffering unlike us but they would not want us to either. Unless it has happened to you nobody else seems to understand how we feel.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about my Dad. But life goes on and we have to be strong; try to keep yourself busy and talk to whoever will listen, don't let it build up. I am not very religious but I think there is some truth when they say "The good die young" & "God takes the good ones back" as my Dad was amazing, so kind and nice and funny just perfect... just like yours? Take Care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

May 18, 2010
Warm Wishes
by: Down Under

Condolences on the loss of your father. Losing a parent is the hardest grief to come to grips with cause we all think they will always be around. I lost my father in Aug 09, and have only now just began to come back into the real world. It will take time, all I can say is do not be afraid to let out your feelings and keep reading through this website, you will see that you are not alone. Keep those happy memories alive in your heart and remember he will be watching over you all. Warm wishes.

May 17, 2010
Losing Dad
by: Elise

Oh bless you! I feel your pain! I last saw my Dad on Friday 26th March and we had such fun with him. The next time I saw him, he was lying dead on a hospital bed. I can't get the picture out of my head too.. and I can't believe the last time I saw him was the last time I would ever see him! My Dad was my world, and I don't think I told him enough, although I guess he knew. Because you are half your father I guess a bit part of you dies the day that you lose them.

Hang in there... if you need to talk please mail me back. It helps to talk to someone who knows what you are going through! I can't bear each 28th and Fridays are hard cos I miss him most on that day! My thoughts are with you..... we will all get there, one day. It just feels like such a long and hard journey!

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