(south africa pretoria)
Well I would first like to say thank you for this opportunity because when I want to speak my heart there's usually no one to listen..
I was at work the morning my sister gave me a call me..5 times! I knew in my heart something was wrong.. I phoned her.. She asked have I spoken to you as yet this morning? I said NO.. What's wrong she said.. Tash somethings wrong I can't get a hold of (pappa) I said I will try.. I tried bout 8 times and each time I tried my heart started racing more and more.. At 8am I went in to my SOS meeting... When I came out I had 5 missed calls from my sis I phoned back she said she's in front of your gate but to scared to go in.. I said Melanie go in I will stay on the phone.. I heard her unlock the gate.. Then walking up to ur door.. She opened the inside door (then silence) she said he's lying on the bed motionless and she said (pappa! Pappa!!) I said melanie just go in! She said ok.. I told her to shake you! She did!! You were gone!! I cracked!! Its 3years later and I'm still cracking I can't handle it! She turned in to a alcoholic! Our brother that was ur everything did as well!! What about me? I'm the youngest and still I have to be the strongest! We miss you so much dad why did you leave its just not fair!! Yes I'm selfish!! I know!! I just miss u so much!! I just wanna phone u and then I can't!! It kills me!!