I woke up this morning and instead of getting to wish my wife happy birthday, I stayed in bed and cried, again. Today would have been her 59th birthday and the beginning of our 34th year together. In 2009 we fought and beat Stage IV colon cancer. In 2011 she was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer, which is a battle we lost on March 12, 2013. Since she passed, I have been a virtual zombie; there have been smiles and a few laughs for family and friends to keep from them having me locked up, but there's nothing alive inside anymore. It's been almost a year and I am just paralyzed with grief.