Paul My Cajun Love - I Miss You!

by Hope M. Holt
(Tappahannock VA.)

I thought I would be spared, forget what today was.

Its been 2 months to the day he died.

Some days easier, some days brutal sorrow.

Making it hard to function as a parent.

Crawl into a comfortable space away from the memories.

I'm seeking shelter from my mind, trying not to cry and
wallow in self pity.

Torturing myself about you going on that last morning walk.

I told you I Loved You.

I zipped your jacket when you bent to kiss me and it popped open. I asked you did you want a hat?

And that look, Did you know? That you weren't coming back?

Regrets, there are many. The things I wish I had done.

The things that we won't do together.

My eyes are leaking again thinking of all I truly lost.

Bound in this house by snow and thoughts.

Entrapping my happiness let me out...

Let me excape this pain and sorrow.

I Miss You....

Comments for Paul My Cajun Love - I Miss You!

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Feb 28, 2010
3 months without My Cajun Love 3/06/10
by: Hope M Holt

It is almost 3 months 3/06/10. And the Pain intensifies. Sundays are especially hard as the 10:50 T.O.D approaches. Removing the big kitchen table where I can no longer eat. (many memories). For a smaller one for myself and my 11 year old. Every object that I move to and fro brings tears that I hope will not be seen by him. Good days and bad. Today will bombard me with memories. The Life the Love that we shared.

I miss you Paul, and I am trying to be strong for our son but there are days my dear, I have to shed a tear missing what we had, shared and loved. You were the magic that made me beautiful. I am but a shell now, fragile, frail a mere part of the strong Irish lass I was.

Give me strength God to raise our child in the manner he deserves. I am broken. HH

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