paul

by paul
(england)

my girlfriend gradually deteriorated into a full blown schizophrenic illness. At first i thought she might recover but she became gradually worse.

She went to spend time with her parents some 3 years ago but i kept in touch, hoping she might recover. Thinking well, maybe she just needs time and space and get some medical support. I thought well I have heard of people who with the right intervention get back to lead near normal lives.

At first she was just more emotional and a bit up and down with her moods. She was always fairly emotionally expressive, which was part of her; she was always so open, that's why I loved her. After not hearing from her for some time, she turned up on my doorstep, but she was in a terrible state, she returned to her parents, but returned a day or so later....

This is when it hit home; she started spouting a number of paranoid statements, i.e that terrorists where after her. She kissed me good bye said she was going abroad. Discovered from her parents she had been admitted to a psychiatric ward. Also that she had attempted suicide and went missing but was found ok by the police... Now i get occasional phone calls from the hospital with her telling me a number of rambling paranoid statements.

I am doing my best to grieve and try to let go, it comes in waves. I cry a lot, get angry, feel guilty. It's difficult when i know she is going to ring at any time. I do have some good days and some bad days.

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Dec 13, 2011
Paranoid Wife
by: Anonymous

Paul:
I really sympathize with you. About 10 years ago, I learned, after several years of bizarre comments and behavior by my wife, that she is suffering from some type of paranoia (paranoid personality disorder? paranoid schizophrenia?). Since then, her condition has become progressively worse. She used to be one of the nicest and sweetest people on the planet. Now she is simply mean, self-centered and a pain to be around. It's been really hard on our daughters, but they're coping as best as possible. As soon as I'm able (financially, emotionally, etc.), we're getting divorced because I simply can't take this "hell" anymore. We fell in love in 1978. Been married 31+ years. I'm now trying to deal with this loss as part of the "grieving process." My advice to you: move on and trust God. He'll help you get through your loss. Tony

Nov 13, 2011
letting go
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel paul. I came to love someone who is bipolar with borderline personality disorder. come this past june 8 she came out of her apartment in a rage!! we have not heard from her since except for some very nasty texts. we recently heard she went back to her 3rd ex-husband who left her homeless. it's been very difficult but i'm finally starting to let go. i feel badly for you but you must take care of yourself. for your sake let go and move on.

Sep 13, 2010
Move On
by: Charlotte

Dear Paul,

You need to change your number and let her go. Yes, it is sad that she is ill, and you'll always love her.
I married my teenage sweetheart. I knew he was "different", but it didn't matter. I was young, and in love. The emotional abuse started early, and the physical abuse came later. He was diagnosed as bipolar and paranoid schizophrenic when I was carrying our third daughter.
After fourteen years of marraige and three children later, I finally left. He was beginning to physically abuse the girls.
Please move on and get her out of your life before you have children. Get rid of the guilt. You didn't cause her illness. Pray for her that she may have as normal of a life as possible.

God Bless,
Charlotte
Bamahoneysuckle@aol.com

Apr 11, 2010
Take care
by: Anonymous, NY

Hi Paul,
I read your post and I myself loved someone mentally ill. I feel for you. Take good care of yourself...caring thoughts sent to you from across the ocean.

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