Paul's Garage month 8 8/06/10

by Still Mrs Holt
(lost in VA)

They talk about ghost in the closet. How about ghost in the garage?

We all have a place where our boogyman waits. To scare us into the pit of memories. It has taken me this long to go into my scary place and try to sort things out.

Dragging things out unto the lawn as fast as possible as if it were a marathon. The only players me and my sanity.
Telling myself that it was just stuff, not memories.

I found out different, All the camping trips. All the painting projects. All the manly toys that I can't play with. I think that I may have sucked up an important O ring with the wet and dry vac.

All I can try to do is face each memory and eventually organize it. When I am done I can padlock it. Until a project forces me back. There are ghosts in the part of out mind we call memories. HH

Comments for Paul's Garage month 8 8/06/10

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 12, 2010
Thank You...
by: Hope

Thank You all so very much for commenting and comforting me. It helps to know that Others have a difficulty going through things...That it feels like fire burning a memory. That you want to drop the said object and run. Or you just hold it and cry. Thank You for being here and knowing what I mean and sharing...

I am now going through 3 boxes of paperwork that that cuts like a knife. I need to do a little at a time and basically dump it into a smaller box for later...I know that all the medical papers will not help me now. All the bills that aren't going to get paid regardless of how many times they send them to me. I need to just toss it ALL. But you know there might be something in there you need. so piece by piece, memory by memory, I go through it...If I had the money, I would hire someone to do it. A Logical person with no actual care of the contents. But until then...Piece by piece, memory by memory and one day at a time...

Aug 11, 2010

I do so much know how you feel. Last July 2009,
our mom passed away suddenly after a few days illness. we found out she had cancer. My
brother and I were so devastated, we locked her door, leaving the porch light on for 6 months until we could cope. We never went back again.

This July 2010, my brother passed away three weeks after we found out he had cancer. Six
days after he passed away, someone in his family
said I had to empty her house so it could be rented. I was numb with grief for my mom and
brother, but to have to do away with mom's things was more than I could do. I didn't want her things touched, I needed to protect them, but this wasn't going to happen.

Thank God for my children. they went to mom's house and got the personal things i should have
to keep. They put the rest in their homes for
safe keeping. How do you get through 2 deaths and having your mom's things taken away and no
traces left. I'm so hurt, so crushed.

Aug 10, 2010
Paul's garage month
by: mari

I do understand. Memories are wrapped up in many things. All I kept were pictures and a few things I treasure. I have our matching shirts that read,''New Jersey 101.5'' and remember how we laughed wearing them here in California. I donated much of his stuff as I could not bear the memories. I have many pictures and his cell phone with his picture and his cell phone holder. I kept a cup that has painted on it ''I love My husband.''I even rearranged the whole house because of the memories but of course he is still here. I feel his presence and the side of the bed he used to lay. He would not drive my car ,saying,''If something happened to it I would never hear the end of it.'' So he was the passenger and his side is empty. That makes me miss him more.

The memories do not go away but I am coping.
I wear his pajamas to bed. I imagine him there holding me telling me to keep him warm.
So I understand. Now just to figure out how I am going to get through the rest of my life without him. God helps me and he will do the same for you.

Aug 10, 2010
His tools
by: Barbara

I know exactly what you are saying. My husband has been gone one and a half years. I moved 6 months ago. The lonliness and sadness still is overwhelming. But the garage. Whole different story. The garage was his. The tools were his. Every project that I must tackle by myself is like a knife in my heart when I must go to the garage to find a tool. Most I don't know how to use, but he knew how to use everything, where it was, and I am certain used every project he did as an excuse to buy a new tool. When I open one of his tool box drawers the tears roll down my face instantly. I can be working on something and I am okay, but if I have to go look through the tool box for something my heart and soul are crushed. Steve and I were married over 40 years when he had a heart attack and died. I miss him every minute of everyday. We married when I was 17. I don't remember any part of my life without him. He was truly the love of my life. I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds as if you had a great love also.

Aug 10, 2010
My Sons' Things

I am there. My son has been gone 2 months and his things are all over my house. As long as I do not touch them I am fine. I can walk by them without even looking. But the minute I touch them to put them away I break down and cry so hard I cannot continue. My son lived with his cousin when he died and people were in and out of the apartment all the time. The day he died I ask my sister to please go get his things because I feared that they would "walk off". Her daughter lived there also and she had people in and out all the time. Still some of my sons things are unaccounted for. People do not realize what these things mean to you. I know that I cannot keep everything and have already given mementos to my daughter and family that was truly close to Cody. My mother died 45 years ago when I was a teen and I still have some of her things.

Aug 10, 2010
ghost in the garage
by: Anonymous

My ghost was in our caravan - took me eight months to get in there and clean it out - was the last place we were together, before he had a stroke and passed. Couldn't do it on my own, had to get daughter to do it - haven't been back in since - but I intend to - I have bought new bedcovers etc, and intend to change a few things to make it "mine" (i hope) and hopefully early next year I will take a trip.

I keep remembering when we took his clothes out just after he passed, he had 42 - yes 42 pairs of sox - they went to a homeless shelter in the city - but 42 pairs of sox in a caravan? What was the man thinking!!!

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!