Phantom of the Opera? Christmas #2Alone

by Patricia
(Las Vegas)

Las Vegas 2011

Las Vegas 2011

Where to begin? Where does it end? Christmas is upon us and even thought I have a friend who care, a friend from years ago, a friend that could be more its still sad and painful.
This year for my mother were going to an Italian dinner with Veal Parmesan that she loved so much and then to the Stage of Phantom of the Opera. She's always wanted to see it and giving my mother what she wants at this stage in her life is the least I can do. How much do our parents give and give, we as children take and take. Its time to give back. If you know the Phantom of the Opera you know its a true love story. I want to laugh, cry and crave for the desire they show has to offer.
I've reconnected with an old friend 10 years ago. It seem we both had an attraction but were unavailable at the time but now seems available. Do I go or do I stay?
Tonight is Christmas Eve, truly the first time I'm on my own, by myself, alone since moving into my own place.
I like John and hear Billy in my mind. Problem is were 236 miles apart. Guess we'll see where that goes.
But its Christmas Eve and I miss Billy, our Christmas Eve's long gone.
I see his face, his laugh and him buying me everything just to please me. Billy's no longer here.
My mother is with my brother and sister-in-law (they don't talk to me, I'm to direct) at a Christmas Eve party, so Christmas is full of memories, wants and desires for something that is no longer here. It's been 1 year 6 months and it could have been yesterday. The Phantom has such a love story that my heart aches for love once more.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I worked today because that's retail and the crazies were out for that last push of buying, but when I got home it was loneliness.
I don't understand and sometimes I don't know if I'm going forwards or backwards...
But I w1ll continue as I do each day ~
1 Step, 1 breath at a time, 1 year ~ 6 months

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Dec 28, 2011
Be happy...
by: Vickie

Patricia,

I have been at this site for a few weeks and have read some of your entries about your beloved, Billy. I think your an amazing woman and that you have shown your strength here in the last few weeks. You may not think so, but you are a very strong woman. I hope that you enjoyed your night out with your mom. Holidays really can STINK when your MISSING someone soo MUCH!! I believe that you should reach out to this friend and see what happens.. Going out with him doesn't mean your accepting a marriage proposal. If your feeling like your betraying your love and loyalty to Billy-your not. You are still fairly young and I don't think Billy would want you to be so alone. No one can ever take away or change the love you shared and still have for Billy. Good luck. Happy Holidays. Vickie

Dec 26, 2011
keep marching
by: Anonymous

I can see that you are moving forward even though you may not think so.....Be kind to yourself and follow your instincts. Sending loving hugs to you cousin....

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