Plane Crash 3-21-12

by Sue DeSha
(Alexandria MN)

Dad's last birthday 4-15-10

Dad's last birthday 4-15-10

I lost my mom, brother, sister-in-law and their three dogs in a private plane crash last spring. I am the only remaining sibling living in Minnesota. My other brother is in New Jersey and my sister is in Colorado. My new husband and I have spent most of 2012 dealing with death, funerals and trying to sell two homes; one 130 miles away and the other 70 miles away.

My mom was my best friend and my parents' home was my refuge during many difficult years before, during and after the divorce of my first husband. I still drive each week to check on their home and both need it to sell, but don't want to let go.

The day before Thanksgiving, one year prior, I lost my dad suddenly to an aneurysm. Six months before that I lost one of my dearest friends suddenly to heart failure. Last month I laid to rest my mentor and close friend, the one Christian friend who was there for me through a nasty divorce in a small town.

As anniversaries of these traumas pass, I keep thinking "now I will feel better" or "I can start living again." But so far the layers of grief press ever heavier and I struggle even though God has made His presence known in many ways, especially through the faith, kindness and perseverance of my husband.

Sometimes I am very afraid of losing another loved one. Sometimes I have overwhelming anxiety late at night. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I sob like a little girl, broken-hearted. Always, I know that I have not been abandoned by God. He loves me. I trust Him, but it hurts.

Comments for Plane Crash 3-21-12

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Jan 18, 2013
Plane Crash 3-21-12
by: Doreen U.K.

Sue I am sorry for all the losses of your loved ones in your life. Death is the worst emptiness and heartache we will face in life. If you struggle with grief you need to go and see a grief counsellor who will help support you in the worst pain we go through when we have lost loved ones. You need to grieve each loss well otherwise you will get stuck in grief tangled up.
Death makes us vulnerable and we will feel we will lose other people from our life. This is such a hard battle to be in. All the feelings you express is of Grief. It tares us up so badly we wonder how we can go on in life. If you are a Christian you will know the Comfort of God and have the FAITH to BELIEVE you will see all your loved one's again. This is what keeps me going after losing my husband of 44yrs. 8 months ago to cancer. Every day feels like an eternity. The Anchor of God hold us up in the storms of Life and Death. HOLD ON! DON'T GIVE UP HOPE!

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