Pleaded a Case

by Neil
(Detroit)

I lost my wife of 32 years of marriage. She died on 2/2/14, and I miss her so much. It is painful and sometime the sadness comes over me and I can’t control my emotions. My children are wonderful but all 3 live in different states and I do get the time that I want with them. My children are 31, 32, and daughter 21 year old. It’s apparent that I am taking her death the hardest, she was only 50 and would have turned 51 March 9th. I know this will past but for now it’s like I am embracing the moment, this mourning. Thanks for allowing me to share and I hope the best for us all that have lost a wife that we miss so much that there is gilt that we are still alive. I’m sure if we had the opportunity we would have pleaded a case that she needed more time, I’ll even give her my time; but it was time, no extensions. We have to find the best in this horrible disappointment whatever it is, for my woman she is rejoicing in the reunion with her beloved sister, mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother. Peace Brothers

Comments for Pleaded a Case

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Apr 09, 2014
I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

Neil i know how you feel.my wife of 45 years passed away close to 10 months ago. she was in a nursing home 6 days for thearpy. i saw her on a wednesday and the next morning i got a call at 648 that she had passed away. i could not believe it that what i said every day when i got out of bed. this is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with. i cry ever day and sometimes i realize i will never see her again on this earth and i panic.ever one tells me it gets better after a year but it dosent the ones that say this have never had to go through this.i started to church and that helps but the pain wont go away god bless you and i hope the pain will ease for both of us some day.

Apr 04, 2014
from one grieving widower to another
by: Lawrence

Dear Neil,
My heart goes out to you at losing your beloved wife; there is no pain like it, the feeling of absolute hopelessness and overwhelming sadness with the future looking so empty.
You will never ever again feel as bad as you do now.no matter how long you live, although I know that isn’t any consolation.
Believe me, I speak from experience, I also lost a beloved cherished wife just fifteen months ago after being together for nearly seventy years, in an exquisite passionate marriage, from very young (she was fourteen and I was fifteen) teenagers to aged pensioners and I miss her still so badly, my heart aches,and guess It always will.
BUT Neil, here is the good news, you will survive and emerge from your nightmare in a few months, after the tears have lessened, although you must find it so difficult to believe me at present..
I never thought the intense anguish at my sweethearts going would ever pass and quite honestly I didn’t want to face the future without her, and yet, here I am offering you sympathy and hope
So you can see, I have stood in your shoes and know exactly what you are going through and may I quote my own mantra “THIS TOO WILL PASS” as it will, if I can get over my loss you certainly will, in time, the pain will always be there but will ease as the months go by.
You must thank God for the wonderful thirty two years you had together, and grief is the price you are paying for that love, I’m sure, like me, you wouldn’t have had it any other way.
May I make a suggestion which is “GET OUT OF THE HOUSE”, do anything but stay In and wallow in your misery, go to the local library and read the newspapers, you are still a comparative young man so put on your track suit and go for a jog or a long walk, sit at your computer and write a book about your love affair, do anything, mix with people, try not to be alone, the house will still be empty and lonely when you return..
I lead a frantic life, I play bridge four times a week and I couldn’t play before and it was very difficult to learn, but I have mastered it to a degree, but it is so complicated you never stop learning.
I have joined a social club and meet fellow mourners who have lost their spouses and we talk and cry on each other’s shoulders.
I write books and compose music and I am having violin lessons so I can practice at night complicated violin concertos, anything to help me try to forget that I am alone and will be until the end of my days.
I serenade my beautiful wife every evening and play and sing her favourite songs, just in case she can hear.
So don’t give up, Neil, a new chapter is beginning, so very slowly turn the pages and see that that there still is a life ahead for you even as bereft as you are now
After my lovely wife died I wrote a poem, the last few lines went
.BUT NOW YOUV’E GONE, WE’RE STILL A PAIR
A PAIR, JUST MINUS ONE.
From one broken hearted widower to another.
Take care
Lawrence.

Apr 04, 2014
Pleaded a Case
by: Doreen UK

Neil I am sorry for your loss of your wife. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 23 months ago tomorrow. He died of a deadly lung cancer caused by working with asbestos. Losing a spouse is the most painful experience of one's life. I cared for my husband for just over 3yrs. and had to watch him die slowly and in a lot of pain. This added to my grief. Much like yourself I have 3 Adult Children and they are a comfort even if they are all leading their own lives.
There is no easy way to go through this grief journey, but ONE DAY AT A TIME. If you read Lawrence's post you will be strengthened by his outlook. I am sure he will reply to your post here, giving you his Male point of view from his experience and how he is able to move forward. You will be encouraged. None of us expected to be where we are losing our beloved wife/husband. But we are and we have to find the best way to move forward. Keeping busy and having some FOCUS in our lives is what is going to help us go on each day. I hope you will be well supported by family, friends, and friends here on this site. Best wishes, and May God Comfort you and your family at this difficult time of grief.

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