Please be a better year for us all

by Donna
(Texas)

Everyone was telling everyone Happy New Years and I said I will say New Year but I can't say HAPPY New Year. How can it be a happy year or day or second ever again without your dad. One of my daughters told me that this year was such a bad year that next year has to be better, that daddy will be watching over us. I pray that she is right.

My grief outbursts have been fewer, that is until October, then all of the anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays had to come back to back. It has been so so hard for me. But I will try to find some peace this next year. Everyone on this site makes that task a whole lot easier, thank you.

My oldest daughter and her family are going to live with my younger daughter and myself this year so that I can quit one of my jobs. I had planned to quit when Bryan got well so Bryan and I could be together the way it used to be 24/7, the way we liked it. The job was in retail and was extremely stressful. I used to call Bryan at work or home crying because of this job, and when we found out that he had cancer he told me that he did not want me to go back to that job.

I do have a job as my paralyzed daughters attendant. My daughters and I have discussed our situation and decided that it would be better for me to cut my hours at this job and get a check for Bryan from social security. It's not much but it will allow me to get away from the stress of the retail job. It will also allow me to concentrate on my family and have the time that I need to grieve.

I just can't stand all the people that mean well, and I don't think I can hold my tongue any more. We have pulled together and will survive. Like Bryan always said, as long as we have each other we can survive anything. I am so thankful for my wonderful children and grandchildren. I couldn't survive this without them. May we all find some peace and happiness this coming year. We all deserve this as we have been through so much. God Bless us all

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Jan 02, 2011
better year for all
by: Mari

Donna, I pray that this year will be better for all of us. I am glad you are going to get some social security to help you along. You have a wonderful caring family and that means a lot. You need to rest too.

People do mean well but do not always know what to say. I found that out.

My pastor said that we will make 2011 a better year and to tell people about God. He says we have work to do. He is encouraging too.
I have an upset stomach and was not sure I would make it to church but made it. I am going to rest until tonight's service.

As yet the new baby has not arrived and my grandaughter wants me with her so I just have feel well. I pray my husband is watching from heaven.

Take care of yourself. I know 2010 should have been wiped off the map but we will do our best to make 2011 a better year. God bless you. Mari

Jan 02, 2011
HOW MANY OF US SAID THIS
by: Anonymous

I, too, said it has to be a better year this year.
At least I pray it is. At the stroke of midnight, I cried, because I felt I was leaving my
Mom and my brother behind. Strange, the feelings you have when you grieve. Thoughts that do not
always make sense. But, we're still breathing
and moving forward, even a little step is a
big improvement. To all, I wish a better year.

Jan 02, 2011
me too
by: Jackie

Hi Donna, I lost my husband in October. He had Leukemia, but died from a fall after having a stroke. My son is disabled and my husband had been at home taking care of him while I worked. Now I have a care giver come in while I'm at work. I go through the motions just to through each day. My daughter is still living at home, when she goes to college I will not survive without her. My friends don't know what to say to me. I hope time helps heal my broken heart, but I know my life will never be the same. I am lost and I don't know how to find my way. I feel sad for you and all of us in the same situation. I pray that you will find some peace knowing that they are in a better place.

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