please help I just lost my 19 year old son 3 days ago

by christina
(Bloomfield nm)

My baby boy was in a 4 wheeler accident July 16 at about 7 pm he was air lifted to the hospital when we arrived the nurse chaplain came to us told us we could go see him before surgery my x husband and I ran to our son side I put my hand on his head and kissed his forehead told him mommy is here baby mommy is here he then role his head to the Side and smiled the prettiest smile I ever seen on him and replied I love you to mommy it was very faint but it was there ...2 hour later the doc came out and told us he was gone he had a collapsed lung and severed his liver in half they could not keep up with my babies blood loss he was not only my son but my best friend my hero my first born I was single so he also stepped up and was the man of the house of me and my 3 other children I can't bare this pain please help me

Comments for please help I just lost my 19 year old son 3 days ago

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Aug 19, 2014
20th birthday spent with the Lord
by: It's been a month

Well it has been a month since my baby boy went home to the Lord I struggle every day just to get threw it august 16th was his 20th birthday I feel so lost without him I tried to celebrate his birthday but it was so hard no matter how hard I tried to pretend he was still here reality kept kicking in I love you son with all my heart wish you were still here with me but happy that you are in a better place

Aug 14, 2014
19 year old son
by: Marge

My heart aches for you to lose a son at such a young age. I lost my youngest son, Philip, on Feb. 10, 2012 and I am still so very sad. Yes, he was 50 years old, but I was 78 and wonder why God took him before me. Losing your son at such a young age is so very sad and difficult to accept. Having been with him during those final hours is somewhat comforting, but so sad that he did not recover. I will pray for you and hope you have some memories of his short life to remember.


Jul 22, 2014
no words
by: Anonymous

I know your pain - I lost my son as well. Please take it one day at a time - one moment at a time - this is a long long journey "grief" one that none of us here have ever wanted to take. Lean on those around you - its okay to cry - scream - get mad. Let your feelings out - everyone grieves differently - we never accept this loss - we just learn to somehow live with it - and one day too you will see that somehow someway maybe by the grace of God we survive. Come here often - we understand. God Bless You.

Jul 22, 2014
by: dianne

Dear Christina my thoughts are with you as u take one day at a time .All on this site feel for you and I know you're reading these messages with tears in your eyes and an emptiness like you could never imagine I lost my son Paul who was 21 July 11 the last year the emotions you go threw try in to deal with it will be roller coasters of emototions but in time your pain you feel right now will lessen just take baby steps cry when u want and your baby boy will remain in your heart I looked for all kinds of answers but it helped to know that I was not alone I had my family as support our thoughts are with you and your family I have changed so much this past year I know I'm not the same person I was you will always have the memories I visit my son each day he will always be in my heart the emptiness that I felt hasn't gone to this day and I know it never will because no matter what he will always be my baby boy like your son will I don't have the answers you search for but I know like my son he knew how much I love him and always will I share your pain and I wish I could lessen it but I just wanted you to know you're not alone take one day at a time and from one mum to another big hugs our love will always be for our children am so sorry and I hope our replies help x

Jul 22, 2014
daughter lost
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our daughter when she was 31 to cancer. It is hard to believe it is almost 14 years. The process is a long one which only you can take. It is difficult when others try to help but you must do it YOUR way and in YOUR time. It does get better although it can take years. You learn to live a new "normal". God will take care of you if you let him. You have my prayers.

Jul 22, 2014
Just lost my 17 years old son
by: Anonymous

Just lost my 17 years old son, my heart is crushing.

Jul 21, 2014
So sorry
by: Gale

Hi Christina - I too lost my son who was 31 years old. He died from an apparent overdose on July 9th; he was also my only biological child. I have a step daughter who has been in my life for 13 years, though it doesn't replace my loss. I am very much in the thick of the grief process. I started seeing a grief specialist and that has helped immensely. Come September I will be attending a support group for 8 weeks with other parents who lost their adult child.

Please remember that this is your grief and your journey. Seek help, stay connected to your support system and take one day, one hour, one minute at a time; basically whatever it takes to manage. I'm so sorry for your loss........there is nothing like it in the whole wide world, to lose a child. We are mother's forever. Hugs to you.

Jul 21, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

I know your heart is in anguish. The shock of this will be with you but it is a help because the pain is so huge. Your mind and heart cannot absorb it all at once,it is too horrible a thought to think of! I lost my oldest son,my friend,my protector of mom,we were so close......I understand. It is so new right now you don't know what to do. It takes time to hurt and cry and be angry and all the emotions that will come. It will be hard but you will live even tho you may think you can't. I've been walking the path a year and a half. I hate it. Some days I am ok now but because I have learned to put this deep pain in a box in my head. Other times I go in and fall apart again. You will survive,on this site we know and feel for you as one one who lost their child can . My heart goes out to you in the huge loss you are facing. Cyber hug.

Jul 20, 2014
Why such pain?
by: Gary

The pain you feel only comes from the love you have for your wonderful son. Don't fight the grief it is a strong emotion with many stages. As hard as it seems you need to go through the stages. Talk to people, groups and write letters to yourself about his life. God bless!

Jul 20, 2014
Your son
by: Michelle

Hold on will survive this anguish even though right now you may not want to or believe you will. I lost my 22 year old daughter Megan a year and a half ago. Like your son she was truly my best friend and the very reason I lived.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your son, please know that we here ont his site understand as no one else can.
I wish I had words but there just aren't any.
It's a journey that will redefine who you are and will become.

Jul 20, 2014
Your Son
by: Anonymous

I wish I knew how to help you. I don't have any magic words and I wish I did. My son died six months ago, we just celebrated his birthday for the first time without him. All that I can tell you that I am better than I was. You will read many messages on this blog and so many will talk about the parent's inability to overcome their grief. What I have learned is that we can learn to live with it. I want you to know that there is hope. Hope for laughter and good days ahead. But take your time. This is a tragedy like no other and you need to take very good care of yourself. I truly believe that my son and yours are in a place of peace. They would want us to find peace as well. My deepest sympathies are with you and your family. I wish I could offer you more.

Jul 20, 2014
Loss of 19 year old son
by: Marge

I read with tears about your recent loss of your 19 year old son. I loss my son, Philip, in 2012 and he was 50 and I thought that was not long enough to have him in my life and you only had 19 years. That is so sad and I pray that you have some wonderful memories of him. It is a very, very difficult thing to lose a child and nothing I can say can take away that sadness, but I will pray for you. Please take care.


Jul 20, 2014
please help I just lost my 19 year old son 3 days ago
by: Doreen UK

Christine I am so sorry for your loss of your 19yrs. old son. This is the very worst place you can be right now with RAW GRIEF coursing through your body with UNBEARABLE PAIN. Take ONE DAY AT A TIME. Even one moment at a time. This is the only way you will get through each day. To lose a child/adult child is the worst experience a mom will go through. It won't always hurt as bad as it does now. I can remember how I felt. I could not function for 6 months after losing my husband of 44yrs. to cancer. You carried your child for 9 months and reared him to become the young man he was. WE will worry about our children till the day we die no matter how old they are. If you believe in God you can only ask God to pick you up and hold your pain as it is so unbearable. God is my support through life and grief. I hope that you have supportive family and friends to walk with you through this valley of grief. It does help immensely. May God comfort you and give you His Peace.

Jul 19, 2014
by: Our sons

Oh, Christina, I am so sorry you lost your son. I lost my wonderful 17 year old son Ethan 11 months ago. He came home with a fever one day and died 5 days later due to sepsis. I miss him more than words can possibly say. I am still in shock. If there is anything that I have learned in the last 11 months it is that words are so inadequate. There are no words for the pain, loss and sorrow we who have lost our child feel. All I can tell you is that you must take it one day at a time. Accept any support that is offered to you. Most of all, be strong for your other children. My daughter is the only reason that I am still here and the reason that I carry on. She lost so much when she lost her brother, she cannot lose her parents, too. Please take care and know that you are not alone in your sorrow.

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