Please help me to help a dear friend

by Karen
(coffs harbour nsw Australia)

Hi, I have a dear friend that was told he had colon cancer about 3 years go. He was given radiation then one day while walking his leg fractured from the hip to the knee. Now he has been getting tumors in his lower limbs and is receiving chemotherapy every three weeks. Doctors have told me he is in stage four. Does the chemo work he is so frail thin and the chemo makes everything he eats taste awful. He lives alone and is fiercely independent, he never complains. He now has limited use of his lower limbs due to stiffness. I need to know how long is his life expectancy and what can I do to make him as comfortable as possible, he has no family. I am much younger than him and i cant understand why I cant get a straight answer from the doctors.

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Jul 23, 2012
helping a dear friend
by: Karen

Thankyou so much for your responce and care,

Unfortunately, My dear friend had a fall and developed an infection we had to go to hospital not much help the sent him home about 1 month later he was to weak to move. The infection had taken its toll about a week after admission he was about to come home but at the last miniute they said I could not take him home because he was a dead weight. He was transferred to a nursing home where the staff were beyond professional lovely nurses finally I felt that I had others trying to help. they got in touch with his doctor and hospital and insisted on a medication review, they attended to my friends needs continually they also let me know constantly of his condition.
Unfortunately the cancer spread quickly to basically all of his major organs and within a week he lost the battle. I waited for awhile to place his ashes in the ocean as he loved and went there daily fishing. As I looked at the ashes and said my goodbyes I turned back and saw a dolphin in amongst the ashes. I cant tell you how such a painful experience turned into one of joy now I know he is free to journey throughout the pacific. I could not have planned it if I tried I know it was Gods plan.

Mar 29, 2011
Keep On Those Doctors
by: Karen

Thank you for your advise and well wishes. I will try with the doctors again tomorrow when my friend has his chemo.

Mar 29, 2011
Keep On Those Doctors
by: TrishJ

As a nurse and a grieving widow I can tell you getting straight answers from doctors is not an easy thing. As your friend's caregiver you are entitled to answers. Keep hammering at them. Go to the hospital administration if they don't want to give you the answers you need to properly care for your friend. I also know that a lot of times doctors don't have answers. Most of them like to think they are God like and know everything but the truth is they don't. They are medically educated but in treating patients there are a lot of things that they can't accurately state as fact and that scares them. They are, after all, human beings just like you and me.
God's blessings to you and your friend. Taking care of someone who is ill is a lot of work so take care of yourself too. Peace and love.

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