Plodding along

I feel lately like I am just plodding along through life. I just work, come home, endure the long lonely weekends and then do it all over again. The county just reassessed my house again, dropping it's value even further making me feel like I'll never be able to break even if I could sell it in this wretched real estate market. Maybe the Lord is telling me to stay in FL but if that is the case what is the purpose of that? For that matter, what is my purpose in life? My future that I once looked forward to was buried with Barry. My kids lead their adult lives and though I adore them both, they don't need me. I can plug along working until I am 70 but then what? I am so lonesome and sad. Oh life is better than it was, and I still sing with the radio and am generally ok, but life is pretty colorless. How do you do this? How do you put color back in life? It seems like an endless struggle. I don't want to live forever in black and white.

JM

Comments for Plodding along

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Apr 16, 2011
me to
by: teresa

i feel the same way as you the color is gone for me as well.





Apr 15, 2011
plodding along
by: Anonymous

If you ever find out how to put color back into your life I hope you pass it on to me. I feel exactly the same as you posted. I have nothing to look forward to and struggle to get out of bed every morning but somehow I do. They tell me this gets better over time.

Apr 14, 2011
what was once comfort is gone what now?
by:

There will be days that it is all we can do is plod along. But know, as soon as we think we are in a rut all heck tends to break loose. That is not the change we want so...What can you change to try to make life more fulfilling? We work, eat and sleep there has to be something more! You are trying drastically to make a new life for yourself. Could you rent your house to someone trustworthy and still take off to where you want to go? What small chances can you take to change your life enough to feel more comfortable?

Is it where you live or what your life is that needs umphing? I wonder what chances we take because our life has been thrashed to smithereens and what things we must change to change too.

It is all so very personal and we will find our way with some thought and courage. We can change our life any time we choose to. It is just easier to stay put. What do you really want and what are you willing to risk to get it?
HH

Apr 14, 2011
Plodding along
by: Mari

I sure understand. I plodded along lately. It is strange how positive I feel at times and how down at other times. With the 2 jobs and church I get tired sometimes and sure enough got sick and had to go to the doctor.So what happened is that I have redoubled my efforts to be positive even tho it is hard. So I rely on God to keep going. Then another memory comes up. I realize it has only been a yr and 5 months so not very long. As for working til 70 I am 66 with 2 jobs so retirement is not in the forseeable future although I enjoy working.The bills keep coming in.You may think your kids don't need you but the chances are a big hug and ''I love you so much'' would be needed. I am sure you already do that anyway.I have kids from Calif to Texas and sometimes I think they don't need me but they are busy with their own lives. The Lord blessed me with a great grandaughter and she is 3 months old.How can I be unhappy when holding her and the 2 yr old who does not want to left out so she snuggles up to me? I feel that God gives us joy in the midst of sorrow. But how I miss that man of mine. So God be with all of you. Let's take the baby steps. What a wonderful bunch of people we have on this board.

Apr 14, 2011
Plodding along side you
by: Pam

I so agree with everything you said, I feel the same exact way. It has been 4 1/2 months for me, and colorless is the perfect description. It seems we just are on a motorized sidewalk sometimes, just getting by, until something major happens. I had a stupid toilet overflow (a piece came off of something in the tank) and when I came home from work one night my bedroom, bathroom, closet and even in the garage was flooded. All I could do was sit and sob for hours, until finally I got the wet/vac out and started going at it. If my hubby were here he would of caught it before that happened, or he would of been the one cleaning up the water. That set me back 100 steps in my grief. Just can't imagine this getting any better than it is.

Apr 14, 2011
Me too.....
by: TrishJ

I just sent my best friend an email this morning. I said I feel like I'm adrift at sea. Not going anywhere, just drifting in no particular direction. The nights are lonely ~ the weekends are long. Remember when we used to look forward to those weekends? They always seemed to fly by ~ too short then back to work on Monday.
I miss my husband ~ I miss him so much. Do we ever really adjust to this new life? Everyone says we do. I guess we just have to keep pluggin' along. I do try to find pleasure in the little things in life. Some days you have to look really hard to see those little things.
Some days I see nothing but darkness. I'll pray for us both. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day. Peace and love.

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