princess101

i lost my dad, just over a year ago now. sounds like a long time ago, its not. It feels like yesterday, its as if he is still in my life and for some reason he can not get out of my mind, the old saying, 'there won't be a day that you won't think about someone you have lost' is very very true. I didn't believe it at first, but everything brings him into my thoughts.

Recently, i feel like i have moved on too fast, i no longer cry at night and can just about think about him without welling up. I am 18 years old, i have been through a lot, but death is something i will never understand. I can not understand how someone can be gone, forever.

It makes me question everything about life, nothing is important. Everything is a gift, take it while you can, it might be your last chance.

I wish i could live by what i believe but my family are so not like that, i don't get on with my family very well, my dad was the one that kept me sane, although we did argue all the time. I was still a daddy's girl, he'd do anything for me, i'd do anything for him.

Miss him more than anything, and now its been a year, everyone thinks its okay and im fine. im not.

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Sep 19, 2012
princess 101
by: Doreen U.K.

You are YOUNG at 18yrs. To have lost a parent. Grief is so painfull. If you cry less and not grieving you may be feeling numb, or perhaps you have reached your level of grief and this may resurface later. Who knows where grief will take each one of us. Don't feel guilty if you are able to go with your life with less tears. Few of us think of death happening in our family. We just carry on living from day to day and when death comes to our family it questions everything we believe in and where we are going. It is a scrary thought. One day our loved one is here and the next they are GONE FOREVER. It questions our own mortality.
For me I believe in the second coming of Jesus back to earth for us who believe in him. Jesus came to earth to die for us so we have eternal life. Jesus rose again and went to heaven to prepare a place for us, and He is coming back to earth to receive us to himself that where He is we will be also. THIS IS MY HOPE. A life to come where there will be no more TEARS, DEATH, SORROW, PAIN, ANGER. It helps us cope better with death and losing a loved one. But it doesn't stop us from missing badly the one we have lost. Death was never in God's plan for us. Death came as a result of SIN. Jesus came to die for our sins and give us HOPE. Because we live in a sinful world we live in a fractured world and families will not get on with each other. WE battle jealousy, Pride, malice, and all the sinful behaviour that afflicts the human condition. This is what we have to overcome each day in God's strength. A daily battle for Life. I hope you go on to have a happy life. There will always be questions. I hope you will find the answers you are looking for, and that not getting on with your family is a battle we all go through. You are not unique or alone here.

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