Progress report number 4 by Lawrence
PROGRESS REPORT NUMBER 4 by LAWRENCE
It has taken me fifteen months to have the courage to dispose of my dear sweet wife’s clothes.
I opened her wardrobes and filled ten bags, every item had a precious memory, dancing under the stars on a Caribbean cruise as the ships orchestra played the song I composed for our Ruby Wedding called “THE RUBY DANCE”, or at both our daughter’s weddings, her wearing the most beautiful evening dresses. and three Bar Mitzvah’s of our grandsons, one of who died at the age of twenty one from SUDDEN DEATH SYNDROME, that broke both our hearts, he went for a bath and just died, God works in mysterious ways, he was so talented.
I even found her Brown Owl hat when she was a Brownie leader, she looked so gorgeous in her uniform, I just couldn’t give the hat away.. .
I did it without tears, just sad nostalgic smiles but after returning from the charity shop I took them to, I wept buckets as I opened her wardrobes to see them so empty it’s like I had severed a chord.
I found a box she had kept with mementoes; there was even a love letter I sent from a troopship coming home from Ceylon at the end of my RAF service in 1950 and our wedding photographs, we looked so ridiculously young to get married.
Needless to say I am still nursing a badly broken heart and miss her terribly, there is such a void in my life and the house is so lonely without her laughter and love..
But I am moving forward; I still serenade her every night and can now sing the words to “SEND IN THS CLOWNS” which I found it impossible for a year, without crying.
I live a frantic life, I play bridge four times a week, I have joined a social club and meet men like myself bereft and heartbroken after losing their wives.
I write novels and compose music, not unfortunately love songs as the person I wrote them for has gone. I am running a marathon (no, not really)
I am still having a violin lesson which is crazy at the age of eighty five but I want to be a better violinist and my teacher gives me such difficult concerto’s to learn that it takes my mind off my sadness and I practice for hours every night..
So, bottom line, I am getting on with my life although I realize I am just filling in time until we meet again (which I hope we do).
I read in a comment someone said that I hope I meet a nice lady and find love again, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN, she was the first girl I ever kissed and the last on her deathbed, I will be satisfied and grateful for a wonderful seventy years of love and passion, I consider myself so lucky.
Thank you all for your help, you saved my life.