Purses of yesterday

by Hope
(Tappahannock VA)

contentment then and now

contentment then and now

I am emptying the contents of purses past. What started out as a task took me down memory road. How far I have come in my grief!

The first purse dumped out Winchester Mystery house tickets. That would have been last Dec. 2011. I went to visit my sons in CA. Not wanting to be home Christmas. Christmas is now a reminder of that cold unusually snowy Winter that Hubby died. It was then I felt my first feeling of contentment. A vacation from grief! I never thought it possible.

Another purse this time more recent. Our trip to Niagara Falls Summer 2012. Going with my sister-in-law and my son unsure if it would bring sorrow or amazement. Seeing this wonder, the honeymoon capital of the world. My honeymoon that I never had with his sister. I looked though my eyes in awe asking the universe and Paul, Do you see this? Is is possible that you can see and feel what I do? Somehow I do feel that he was with us urging our happiness.

Another purse, another trip, this one a very unpleasant memory that took all my strength and courage to deal with.
My sister Celeste Hall was found dead in her apt. one day before my sister Sue's Birthday March 31st 2012. A trip to Jersey City,NJ. was necessary.

Must trepidation and fear as we arrived seeing the famous New York skyline was no comfort, we did not know what we would find in her apt. It did end up being a horrible task that will be burned in my mind forever.
This last purse had a Delenio Yankees schedule magnet.
A wonderful restaurant with amazing breads and subs.

Other reusable bags as used for groceries with wet tickets that have since dried out. Concert tickets, baseball tickets gone to in the rain. Not caring if my parade was rained on. Trodding on living this life in rain or shine.

Lots of new purses bought in the hopes that the bargin would bring some much needed endorphin's. But as we all know it is temporary and will not fix the loneliness we all face without our loves.

I will be going to Luray Caverns the end of the month. Another purse full of memories with and without My Love.

To all those changing purses changing lives it gets better, not when you want but just as you have accepted grief as part of you. It begins to separate from you as you embrace joy in little spurts. Hold on to that, the little moments of joy. It is your life raft as is this wonderful site.

Comments for Purses of yesterday

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Aug 06, 2012
Bittersweet Memories
by: Judith in California

Hope, how wonderful to read your post. I'm glad you are having spurts of joy now. I have gone through my husbands wallets and found old movie tikets he had saved, dinner stubs of when we went out when he could drive and walk. It was sad but it reminded me too of loving times and a shared life I miss so much. Bitter sweet memories
You alway manage to word things just beautifuly and as usual tthe picture you post brings me to tears and reminds me of me and mine. Your picture shows so much love and adoration.

SO good to see you're here. IF you come to CA again I live in the Valley . Would love to meet you.

Aug 06, 2012
Purses create a timeline
by: M Mack


What a wonderful way to express memories of your life through purses. Yes that would be the one item that holds items together - including our memories happy and sad.

This site has been so helpful for me as I have moved ahead in my journey. I can honestly say I am better only because I've come to accept this as my new way. The two year anniversary of that horrible day was way better than the one year. I can finally reminisce without breaking down. Instead I can smile and sigh knowing how much we loved each other. I live for the life I expect to have in eternity with my soulmate. Until then, I have accepted what I am given to carry in this life. I do my best as I'm sure you are doing as well.

It was nice to open the site with your post. I had to walk away from it from time to time only checking in once in a while. I needed to break and look the other way. I believe you have done the same as you know that we cannot surround ourselves with this magnitude of sorrow and still move on to a happy place.

Thank you for checking in and I'm glad to hear your strength in this journey is growing. You've made me laugh through my tears so often over the last two years. Remember the widows island with a only a string and a tree to survive? My best to you as you will always be my friend in grief. Take care and know you have my prayer and support. Glad to hear you're doing well.

Aug 06, 2012
Purses and thoughts of yesterday
by: Judy

As always you find a way to say so eloquently what we are feeling. The phrase spurts of joy is exactly how things come as we move through this new life. Isn't it funny how the smallest thing spurs a memeory. Only now I can smile looking back instead of crying.

I find these things come creeping back to me when I see something I know he would especially like- the egrets nests along US 1, the armidillo waddling across the road in the morning, the rare appearance of the Sandhill cranes flying overhead, a cactus blooming in the middle of downtown Melbourne. How I miss sharing these things with him. So I say look here Bear, see what I see and go on.

This has been a long road but I sense I am on a new stretch now, where things are a little easier. How I appreicate all you here.


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