Rapid & Unexpected Loss of Mom to Cancer July 2014

It is all still so fresh and new. It was just ten days ago I lost my mother to cancer. She had not been in perfect health but it took a mere two months from her diagnosis to her death.
I feel a bit guilty that I did not know last year she was ill, when she began slowing down and getting forgetful. I wish I could have done more for my Mom in her last days. I feel numb and oblivious sometimes to the pain and grief. Somedays it hits me, like this morning. I was very weepy and emotional. It has only been ten days and I worry about how I will get through the holidays. There will be none of her cooking or food. I worry about my siblings who I know have a harder time with this all. I miss you mommy. My sweet sweet girl. I am going to hold it together though. I am looking for bereavement counseling and that is how I found this forum. Thank you for letting me share.

Comments for Rapid & Unexpected Loss of Mom to Cancer July 2014

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Aug 13, 2014
July 8th
by: Doreen UK

Meagan I am so sorry for your loss of your mom just 4 weeks ago is far to early to start feeling better.
We probably knew of friends or extended family who lost loved ones, till we faced our own experience with our close loved ones. The experience is so different. We didn't know what grief felt like close up. It is the worst pain ever and you think you will never recover. Days pass and you find you lose your motivation to get out of bed, go shopping, cook, clean, take the children to school, go to work etc. The way you describe how you feel is what many if not most of us felt, and wrote about here on this site to let you know that we all went through this and it is a normal part of grief. I couldn't function at all for full 6 months. It can be very overwhelming for most people, wondering when this pain will end and if we will get back to normal. You may also find that everyone goes on with their lives and you are still floundering trying to make sense of Why you still feel the way you do. Don't compare yourself to anyone else as each person's grief experience is different in the level of pain felt and the duration of time in recovery.
After hearing of the tragic death of Robin Williams I cried and felt sad all day yesterday. Almost wanting to reach out and support him so he wouldn't have had to feel so depressed that his only way out was to take his own life. Now our TV is hit by everyone coming out and talking about losing someone. Grief is everywhere. Everyone's life is being touched by tragedy. I am feeling sad for Robin Williams wife and his 3 children and what his death is doing to them and they are also plunged into deep grief. I understand the world of depression and what other's go through. I did counselling and I got through my depression and I would have wanted this for everyone, including Robin Williams who spent time making us laugh and be happy whilst hiding his own Misery. May God Comfort all of us on this grief journey and give us Hope for tomorrow.

Aug 09, 2014
July 8th
by: Meagan

I lost my mom July 8th to metastatic lung cancer. She had recently finished a 2nd round of chemo and radiation. We knew she didn't have a whole lot longer, her oncologist said probably a year. She died very suddenly from a complication related to her cancer. I was out of state on vacation and she was relatively well when I left. We had her service last weekend and I felt a great relief after that. But I'm saturated with sadness and grief. I'm exhausted all the time but I can't sleep. I'm distracted and can barely concentrate enough to drive or grocery shop. I know she wouldn't want this but I can't seem to feel even a little better. I'm so sorry for your loss. I think we're probably never ready to lose our mom's but she was only 60. . .

Aug 07, 2014
Sorry for your loss
by: Toby

I 'm sorry for your loss ! I can't imagine how hard it is ... I lost my mom last week from gallbladder cancer it happens so fast ... She was ok until the last 3 weeks.. I still cry when i watch her on video ! i miss her everyday I know she is in better place now .my prayer goes to you and your family .

Aug 06, 2014
I feel your pain
by: Anonymous

I too just lost my mother on July 21 to Cancer, I feel as if I am living a nightmare. I just feel so numb and really don't know what to do..

Jul 27, 2014
by: Anonymous

I am sorry for your loss and I know how difficult it is having lost my own mum last year.
Be gentle with yourself and talk to those who can support you.Try not to feel guilty, you cared about your mum and it is frustrating to see some one you love becoming more dependent.
I used to get frustrated with my mum when she couldn't do things but I was just feeling frustrated at watching my competent mum lose her independence.Your mum understood. They always do.Look after your self and take it one day at a time.Best of luck.Therese

Jul 25, 2014
Rapid & Unexpected Loss of Mom to Cancer July 2014
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your mom so suddenly to this terrible disease of cancer.
I am glad you have decided to go to counselling. This is wise as grief is so painful and can have consequences of Denial, and stuck in grief when many people are unable to move forward. Another good way forward I learned on this site is by TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. Depending on the ages of your siblings you can encourage them to go to grief counselling. It does work well as I did this some years ago.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to a deadly rare cancer. His cancer was incurable, inoperable, and terminal. I nursed him for 3yrs.39days and he died 2yrs. ago. I couldn't function in any way for 6 months. I nurtured myself back into life. It is such a painful experience when you lose a close loved one. The pain is so unbearable you wonder if you can ever recover. I wish you well with your grief counselling and with life in general. Know this that we do eventually recover from grief even if it be years.

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