Reginald E. Turner, II 03/03/1984 - 12/01/2012

by Kathy Turner
(North Wilkesboro, NC USA)

My son fought sickle cell disease for 28 years. He was diagnosed at the age of 5. He never let the diseases dictate his life or who he was and wanted to become. At the time of his death, he was a senior at Western Carolina University. Reggie wanted to become a history teacher and make a difference in the lives of young people.
He loved music and was a fabulous guitarist. He played in two bands and did a Midwestern tour with his band (Forever in Despair: FID)
Though his father walked out on us when Reggie was only three,I made sure he had everything he needed. I had returned to teaching when Reggie was 3 and from time to time, often worked two jobs to ensure that he had the medical care, food, clothing, and shelter needed. Five years before Reggie died, his father found us and tried hard to reconnect with his son. I called his father the Tuesday following Reggie's liver biopsy that revealed a small amount of Cirrhosis. On that Wednesday, his father had plane fare and was due to arrive on Saturday. On Thursday, Reggie was moved to ICU when his kidneys began to fail. The doctors began dialysis on Thursday morning, then his bowels began to fail. By Saturday morning, the doctors informed me that Reggie on had hours to live despite all the treatments. Reggie transitioned this life at 7:51 pm and his father arrived after I had left the hospital, about an hour after Reggie had died.
I still talk with his father occasionally, he lives in CA and I live in NC. I don't know where to go, what to do or how to survive without my son. He was the joy of my life, a true gift from God. Now I have lost all hope and my faith has vanished.

Comments for Reginald E. Turner, II 03/03/1984 - 12/01/2012

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Sep 03, 2014
I feel your pain
by: Kathy Wilson

Hi Kathy
My name is also Kathy on July 15,2014 @ 1:32 pm I also lost my only Son from renal failure and cancer. Kevin had just turned 40. He had been battling with several illnesses since age 21. First he had a kidney disease that later put him in Dialsysis. He continue to do good and in 2013 he was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer and stage 1 thyroid cancer at the same time. He had surgery for 12 hours and came out . They remove 95 percent of the kidney cancer and all the thyroid cancer. He begin chemo and was on dialysis three times a week. He was a true trooper. But on May 24 this year two days after this 40th Bday he got sick was admitted in the hospital he found out that it spread to the liver. He knew that he was dying so he still had great spirit and told everyone that visit him including family friends what he wanted them to do when he died. He was married and had two children. I was with him when he took his last breath and I lost it. My son was my best friend we talked several times a day. I also have a daughter we are also close. My kids have always been my life. It is very hard for me right now to go on with doing anything. I ask God why he took him before me and also pray for strength. I really know how you feel because I share the same pain. I pray God grant you strength to go on in life.

Aug 20, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

I'm so sorry you lost your only son. I lost my oldest son in 2012 Nov. And it hurts to my core. I am pretty numb now to everything so I can survive. I have had a roller coaster of emotions as I'm sure you have. I know you miss your wonderful son ,we will forever. My heart is with you.

Aug 19, 2014
your precious son
by: Anonymous

I understand how it feels to be at a loss for living when the love of your life has passed. i too experienced a loss - my son Michael died on June 9th and I work really really hard at dealing with the grief and heartache. It's not easy and though there are resouces out there, which I take advantage of, I still cry every day and yearn for him. The individual therapy is so helpful as is a good support system of friends and family; I don't know where I'd be without them.
Please be kind to yoursef and let others help - it does make a difference. Lots of hugs to you.

Aug 18, 2014
I am so very sorry!
by: SoSadDad

Kathy, I guess you know by now that the pain and sorrow will not go away, even after almost two years. I'm assuming Reggie is your only child? I too have lost my two adult daughters within the last 4+ years. It hurts every day and I will never get over it. But there is a gradual change in everything. We will learn to live with our losses, never forgetting, of course, but able to live and laugh again. I know my girls want that for my wife and me, and I'd bet Reggie wants that for you as well. We want to keep their memories alive, we want to talk about them, we want others to understand how it changed us, but without REALLY understanding; there's only one way to do that, and we wouldn't wish it on anyone. Kathy, you can't very well do this on your own, either. Please see if you can find a local chapter of The Compassionate Friends. Run by other bereaved parents, they know what we are going through, just as they are doing. There's no cost, no pressure, and you don't have to do anything but sit and listen and cry, if that's what's in you. They understand. Try 2 or 3 meetings to get familiar with them. I hate that you are in this club. But unfortunately, once we're a member, ywe can't quit. They won't be back, so try to honor them by living the life they would want for you. God bless you!

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