reliving the beginning of grief

by Hope
(Tappahannock VA.)

I am weak, I am strong. So tired of these ups and downs, good days and bad. This new life, the New Normal that I am supposed to be experiencing One year after my life was torn apart does NOT come easy.

Today the simple act of sorting through DVD's to find Christmas shows for Boo had left me queasy. His B-movies, Indiana Jones, Bogie Movies that we watched together.

It brings back that tightness in my chest, the difficulty breathing, hard to concentrate feeling some how just "out there". All those feelings in the beginning that I thought I had gotten past.

Guess its never too late to have a memory smack ya down.
But tommorrow is another day, A better day or I hope so, I must think that or go mad with grief.

wow the word below was grinch how appropriate ...

Comments for reliving the beginning of grief

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Dec 15, 2010
Memories take hold
by: Ms Mack


The meltdowns come and go for all of us from our precious memories. As wonderful as they are, the harder they hit us. "Just do it" doesn't apply to us. We are victims of circumstance, highly experienced grief survivors with emotions taking us through many twists and turns. Memories that should be heartfelt turn painful. Although we do not have the love of our life to help us through this...we do have so many others to lean on, vent and offer emotional support and prayer. We learn as we go along how to deal with snapshots of our past.

It has only been 4 months and 1 week since I lost the love of my life. He showed me what real love was. He found me when I really needed someone and then God suddenly took him away. What did I learn from this experience? That anything is possible, nothing is permanent. You will find peace and comfort one day. My heart and prayers are with you.

Dec 14, 2010
reliving the beginning of grief
by: julie

Honey - I know that feeling - the little things are what get you aren't they? Watching a Seinfeld rerun the other day - his favourite show - it was as if I was seeing John on the screen.

Our son once said - hey Dad you dress like Jerry Seinfeld - John replied - I was dressing like this long before Jerry - he copied me!!!

I was going to turn the show off, but I kept watching, and shed a few tears, but having shed those tears, I felt refreshed. Sometimes I think I am coping too well - you know in control, strong, all of that - then some little thing will happen, and I am right back at square - not one - two, I talk to a lot of people, and that helps get me back on track.

One breath, one step, that's how I am doing it -
Take care

Dec 14, 2010
Continuing to Grieve
by: Judith

HI Hope, I feel for you and hope you eventually find the peace you need.

I too keep finding things that make me continue the grieving. I found a picture of me in a frame with a recording of him saying he loved me and our cat. It just tears me up.

I read your things with hope for me to get to where you are.

We have to go through this hell of a process to get to where we need to be.
God bless you.

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