Rest in Peace My Beautiful Mira

by Marian
(Emeryville, California, USA)

Me and Mira

Me and Mira

Me and Mira
Curious girl
Mira Grace

Mirabai Grace came into my life after my beloved cat, Leela passed. Mira was meant to heal my heart. She helped me to stop crying. She was my “Miracle” girl.

However, there was much more than this as there was a relationship. Mira ran to the bathroom with me in the mornings as if she wanted to start her day with me. She slept with me at night and stretched her entire body across my bed taking up much of the space. She talked often as she interrupted my thoughts, meditations, and so on and now what I wouldn’t give to hear that meow! When I came home from work I would smile because Mira was always at the window waiting for me. She was the most inquisitive cat that I’ve ever met (including Leela was a curious cat). When the Comcast man or the men who installed my dishwasher with noisy tools came over Mira was at their sides checking them out. I wondered if she was trying to protect me as she watched them. Yet, she was completely trusting.

This past Sunday I had to put Mira down due to abdominal cancer. She stopped eating after many, many bouts of vomiting. She struggled to use her litter pan and couldn’t even drink water. 

Still, part of me wonders if I did the right thing. Maybe I should have waited. Maybe she could have gotten better… The vet told me that if I waited, she would have suffered more so we did this and I hate it. Over the past year she vomited from time to time. I thought that she had food allergies and kept changing her foods. She would be fine and then the vomiting would start again and go away. She seemed fine other than one rather inconvenient symptom, but over the past few weeks she got very sick. I took her to the vet and they did thorough lab work which only showed a high white blood cell count. I thought that maybe it was just a virus or that it was IBD which is treatable, however, she stopped eating altogether. I force fed her food and Pedialyte. She lost a lot of weight. I could feel her spine and her ribs even though her beautiful fur was still extremely soft. 

She’d stay near me or hide. She hid in the bathtub probably because this made the mass in her abdomen hurt less. She kneaded on her teddy bear which seemed to bring comfort.

Today is the third day of her passing and I keep seeing her every where in my home as if she hasn’t left, yet, I can’t touch or hear her. I worry about her. I hope that she is okay. I have deep faith and yet it’s being questioned. Where is she, is she okay, is she happy, fed, warm, does she miss me? I meditate and pray to be with her. 

The pain is intense. I have bouts of crying jags that leave me nauseas. I can’t eat or sleep. Nothing brings me joy and normally I have an inner sense joy that is presently gone. I feel like I let her down. I miss her so much. It’s incredible. I realize only now of the extent that I loved that little cat… I wish that I could turn time back a month when she seemed fine and life was smooth and good.

Comments for Rest in Peace My Beautiful Mira

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Jun 20, 2016
by: Marian


I'm so sorry.

It's been six sad months since Mira passed. Three months to the day my Ragdoll suddenly got sick and died on my living room floor. He and Mira were very bonded. They are together again and I cry every day...

It doesn't sound at all silly to want to reunited with your cats. I want that too..,

Blessings to you...

Jun 19, 2016
Raw grief
by: Sharon

My beloved cat of 15 years was put to rest just yesterday,and my grief is astounding. Each time I walked into my bedroom where she usually stayed, I would be greeted by two happy cats. Now there is just one, and she seems sad as well. This morning we awakened to our living cat making a groaning/meowing noise that we had never before experienced. After petting her, she stopped the sad noise and has been her usual self the rest of the day.

My dear husband tells me that it's perfectly normal to feel sad, but it hurts so badly, I feel physically ill. What will I do without my sweet cat that would purr in my ear every night as I drifted to sleep and bump her head against mine?
I cried all day yesterday and whenever I awakened throughout the night. I just can't believe how badly this hurts. I'm not being dramatic here, it REALLY hurts.

Grieving is so personal. Nobody can carry half of it for you. All death is horrendous, even the death of my beloved cat, and the grief that follows is equally horrendous.

I wish that the Bible said, "You will hold your cat again when you go to heaven." Is that silly?

Thanks, it really did help to write down my thoughts. To all of you that are visiting this site because you've lost a beloved pet, I am so very sorry.

Mar 09, 2016
Totally understand Marian
by: Carol E

Marian, I had to do the same for our beloved Thomas, a beautiful Black Cat with white paws and a white nose, several years ago.. I too wondered if I had done the right thing. Our vet told me one thing that remained in my mind. He said we have to make certain decisions for our pets. We have to decide if there is still quality of life for them. If not we have to make the kindest decision for them, which goes beyond our wanting to extend their life for us, as this could mean more pain for them. The kindest thing we can do for them, is make that decision when the time is right, not to cause them further pain. It is so sad to lose them, but you have then given them the dignity of not suffering. We have put them before ourselves , which is a selfless act of love, thanking them for all they did for us. It is still the only way I can think of it. I still miss Thomas, as he was quite a character. But I think I did right by him. I think you did the same for Mira. Keep some photos of her around you. I think when we are close to animals, their spirit stays around us. I' m sure Mira will be around you in spirit, for some time.

Jan 23, 2016
I feel exactly like you do....
by: marianne

I lost my little Nikko 3weeks ago! He was perfectly fine, except for some vomiting! Then one day he became very lethargic and we took him to the Penn veterinary clinic and he had advanced kidneydisease and all kinds of other things! Liver, stomach... A week before he had been rolling around in Christmas wrapping! He was 14, anyway, I also often feel guilty and sad! I'm usually a happy person, but now I feel an emptiness much like you describe! I also often think... Does he miss me?? Hang in there and lets be grateful for the time Mira gave you and Nikko gave me!will pray for you... 😿😿😿

Nov 22, 2015
Mira's Love lives on in you.
by: Anonymous

You did the right thing Marian. I lost my Munchkin to cancer in 2009. I felt a lot of the same feelings you speak of here. I miss her dearly but, I know now that as hard as it was to let go...that it was the right thing to do. You will in time feel an inner peace and know that she is in Heaven and you will be reunited someday. My prayers still go up for you. Love and hugs

Nov 22, 2015
Your beautiful Mira
by: Elizabeth

I'm so sorry. I lost my beautiful Katiecat who I had for 15 years. It's been a couple years since her passing, but I still miss her. Peace to you. Bless your fur baby...

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