Reuniting with first love after 20 years
My story begins as a 36 year old woman going through a painful separation of a 16 year marriage...
I had not seen or heard from my first love from 14 years old for 20 years. One day he texted me he would be in town the next day and wanted to see me. He lives 1100 miles away. I agreed. I saw him for about 30 minutes before I had to go to work... Then he was gone again. We talked like no time had passed during those 30 minutes. After we parted, I felt a sadness I hadn't felt in a very long time. We had dated at age 13 yrs for 9 months, and were so in love. I had heard over the years from his cousin that he had never really gotten over me... He had said I was his one true love and he was now in his second failing marriage.
He planned another trip with his cousin, my best friend, to come to my home town again several months later. I planned to spend the weekend with them. I never saw coming the flood of emotions I would be opening up during that weekend.
I was very much in control of my heart the first day seeing him again. Then we all went out to dinner and a club. He was so caring, and sweet to me. Attending to my every need. Taking care of me when I had a little too much to drink. (I do not usually drink, so the alcohol really affected me) It was like old times being with him again.
Then with out warning he kissed me... I first pulled away, but then I couldn't any longer... The past 20 years of missing him and all my emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. He told me how I was the one he should have married, the wedding ring on my finger should have been his... That was it though. He was very much the gentleman with me. The next day he was very closed off to me. I never again saw that tender loving, caring man again towards me. He was guarded. He left again, but continued texting and calling me.
He asked to see me again, so I flew for the weekend to his town. We spent a magical weekend together... Talking and laughing like kids... He opened his heart to me about the years of pain he went through after he moved away and had to leave me behind. He told me I was the first true love, pure love he had ever had and the only one since...
When the weekend was over he dropped me off at the airport and left with barely a hug... I was so confused and hurt. I knew it was good bye for us, but didn't understand why.
Now it has been 2 months, and I don't hear from him any longer. I found out through his cousin that he never intended for us to be together again, now or ever. He has refused to tell me how he feels, has felt about me and what the past few months of "us" has meant or was to him. I'm so hurt and confused... How could I have been so wrong about him? He seemed so honest and sincere when we were together. I feel he misled me... I don't know where to go from here. I don't know how to put this all behind me.
I never saw this coming.