riches to rags and lonely
by tracey
(scotland)
Eighteen months ago, me and my children caught my ex partner of almost 11 years in bed with my best friend. It was at her house,I instantly jumped out my car and banged on her door shouting at them. After the blinds twitched a few times she came out in her housecoat and laughed said F+++ off, hes mine now...and kept laughing. I couldnt do anything as my 8 year old was screaming and trying to run away ,so obv had to keep her by the car,my other daughter was just sitting with tears running down her face. He eventually came out,said 'this is all your fault' to me quietly. i got in my car, reversed into his on purpose,and drove as fast as i could away.
me and the children just left , never really got much ,few days worth clothes and the animals from house. we stayed at a friends house, who we had to cook,clean and babysit for her letting us stay. It was awful. he had sent police next day to charge me for shouting 'whore' to her. I just cried and cried.
I partied for 3 months, i found being wasted took the vision of them together away. Me and children stayed from one homeless place to another, he took my car off me so couldnt work,as where they went to school, the buses were few and far between. (we lived in a baronial mansion when we were together, had the cars,lifestyle,etc).
I still cry everyday, when im driving i want something to run into me to take away this pain. my children now go to boarding school, so am all alone,every night after work , i cant stop texting him for silly things,he barely answers anyways( he left this other woman in august),when he has had a drink he texts me saying silly things and am i jealous,but when not, he ignores me. I cant move on at all. I have always seen myself with him, now i still pray either to die or god to let me have him back.
please help