Rick Radlauer 7/13/09
by Peggy Radlauer
My husband has been gone for exactly 2 and a half years and it hasn’t gotten any better. I put a smile on my face, cry behind closed doors and tell people I’m OK, because no one really wants to here the truth. My husband and I were married for 9 years and 4 months. We were planning to renew out vows on our 10 year wedding anniversary when cancer took his life on 7/13/09 at the ripe old age of 41. His 44th birthday is just around the corner and just like last year I will be the only one who remembers as I grieve and morn him behind our bedroom door.
Everyone tells me it will get better in time, but that time has yet to come. I’m lonely and sad without him to talk to, share with, complain to, argue with, hug and make up with. I’m already starting to forget what his voice sounded like, how his skin smelled as I burred my face into his neck, how he looked at me as he told me how much he loved me and that scares me even more. I have had so much tragedy in my life and I am barley 40 years old. I compare every man I meet to him (not that he was perfect, but he was perfect for me) and they ALL fall short. I worry that he was my one and only and I will either have to settle or be alone for the rest of my life. How do you just go on with life when your life is gone?