Ricky Our only Son 9/7/90 - 9/13/2012

by Theresa Hartman
(Oakley,Ca. USA)

Oh this pain...."I am not sure I can bear it"......... A parents worst nightmare has become my life. I can't breathe......I can find no joy in things anymore. You were just 22 yes. Old. OMG will I ever breathe again? Please God please let me know you have my son!!! I do not think I can go on if he is not with you. My mind is still so cluttered and confused......

It was 6:15 am on sept.13th 2012 that your dad called me.......There has been an accident, it's Ricky, it is really really bad....I mean REALLY bad babe....he is gone" our 22 yr old construction worker son apparently exhausted from burning his candle at both ends, fell asleep at the wheel and crossed the line into the path of a big rig on his way to the job site.

The world stopped. My heart stopped beating. Life as I loved it with our son in it was over forever. Without FAITH right now......I do not know what depths of pain there could be worse than this?? Trying for my husband and two daughters to not become so lost in this grief that I can't make it back to some sort of life worth living again. Only by the Grace of God do I think we are surviving right now.

Comments for Ricky Our only Son 9/7/90 - 9/13/2012

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Oct 04, 2012
What if...
by: Anonymous

To all God's children, life in a world of pain and hurt is awful, especially when the screaming is coming from your own soul.There is death all around us, but it's not personal until...

I know this personal pain. Suicide entered our lives and struck down our oldest and left us all shredded cardboard caricatures of our former selves. It is hard to get going, so may I suggest that you just be? No expectations, no guilt, no blame. Allow God to wrap His loving arms around you and hold you while you cry buckets. Tears are a precious release in spite of the pile of tissues and stuffed nose. I cried until there were no more tears - God says He keeps them all. I quite like that picture. It shows His tender love for His children.

We get caught up in wondering where are children are now and how they are and wanting them to come back or we go there, but how do we get there? So many questions, but if you believe what the Bible says, it is clear. Death is a sleep. I can't wake my son up, but he is not going to heaven ahead of me. He is going to stay sleeping until Jesus comes and wakes him up. Meanwhile, he is sleeping peacefully without worrying about me. I don't have to worry about him either. He is at peace.

This truth comforts me and I hope that it comforts you. There is much truth to share,

Oct 04, 2012
for your baby Ricky
by: beverly rose

hello theresa so sorry for your loss, my son hubie was a contruction worker too.he passed july 15 2012, i was where you are in a fog, heart broken,could not eat see hubie had cancer and could not eat for the last two weeks,mine and your baby are in heaven now, they are at peace, you wonder how i know because my sons little girl said she went to heaven and saw jesus and her daddy, she said he was happy grandma!! so i know they have made the jouney. and are waiting for us it will get a little better soon. hold on and god will see you thew this.take care

Oct 04, 2012
I understand
by: carol,seans mom

I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my only son Sean last November. He was 24. I also have two beautiful daughters here to try and survive for. My world crashed. I have not even begun to understand how I will go on without Sean. He was my oldest child and only son. I have cried everyday since November 13th. He did not wake up. They found a blood clot on his heart when he was rushed to the hospital. He was declared gone right after midnight in the wee hours of November 15th. I know I lost him the 13th. I feel like you.I need to know god has him and is holding him tight until I get there. I want him to know how loved and missed he is. My life will never feel complete joy again. We have to live for our girls and take one day, one moment at a time. I am so sorry anyone else knows this dreadful pain.

Oct 04, 2012
Thearesa
by: Eba

Ahhhhhhhh my dear so sorry is not enough I know,don't worry god will take care of your son ,I know how u feel coz I lost my younges son he was only 26,on the 21/2/2011 and till now I don't and can't believe he's gone ,I always feel he's with me ,am calling him the white cotton heart ,he was so peaceful loving caring you've man ,and till now as u say I can't breath ,it really hurt , pls take care of yourself for your daughters and husband and family ,my god give us the strength to go on ,,.

Oct 04, 2012
Turn to God
by: Anonymous

After I lost the love of my life earlier this year in a tragic accident, my life came to a screeching hault. I felt like I was suffocating with grief, and could barely get out of bed. I turned to the Bible and every Christian book I could find to gain a better understanding of the afterlife. I also started praying all of the time and watching hours of Christian programming. I also joined groups at church, in addition to regularly attending church. It is only with all of this that I have been able to wake up each day and take care of my small children. I still cry all of the time. I try not to think about those last moments for him, or the fact that it may be 30-60 years before I see him again, because this sets me into a deep state of despair. Instead, I think about all of the wonderful experiences he is having in Heaven and how he will be so excited when I get there so that he can show me everything. I understand that the life we didn't get to fully live out here, we will get to fully live out on the new earth one day. It is just a matter of being patient, and praying for God to provide me comfort in the meantime. Hang in there the best you can and try each day to take the next small step. For me, those small steps in the beginning were washing my hair, going to the grocery store, cooking a meal, washing laundry. It took everything out of me just to take those steps, but because I did I am now able to take bigger steps.

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