RIP MUM - I LOVE YOU
by LEONA ROMAIN
We lost our Mum and my best friend on 20th July 2012. The moment my young niece had to call me at work and tell me changed my whole world. My mum like everyone’s mum was the single most important person in my life. A day never went by without me calling her, and every Sunday since I left home 6 years ago I’d go back for the best Sunday dinner ever.
My mum was only 67 years old. I had spoken to her the evening before she was found. She was found at the bottom of her stairs, she had fallen down the stairs during the night. She had so much left of her life to live, and she was meant to be in my life for a lot longer than she was.
It’s been 9 weeks without her, and I feel the pain is getting worse. My life is consumed by her. I cannot stop thinking about what we should be doing. We should be having our nightly chats. I should be telling her about my day at work, she should be telling me the local gossip about people I don’t know while wanting to get me off the phone so she could watch Coronation Street. I had planned a surprise holiday for the week after she died, last Christmas day was just me and mum and her cat. Her cat now lives with me. I still text her mobile to tell her I love her.
I cannot see my life without her in it. Although I go to the cemetery every weekend, I am not able to cry, inside I’m crying so much, but it just won’t come out. I don’t know if this is normal, but I just want to let the pain out and cry for her.
My mum is laid to rest beside her best friend, her best friend and next door neighbour for 25 years died 5 years ago, and when the lady at the cemetery showed us a plot for our mum, she showed us that one. We didn’t know where she was buried, and the lady didn’t know we knew her, it was a sign, I believe. – My mum is now buried right beside her best friend. They were neighbours in life, and now they are neighbours in death. This is my only little comfort. My mum missed her so much when she died, knowing they are together side by side again makes me happy.
I pray they are having their old chats again, and my mum is not alone. I know my life will never be the same again, and the hole in my heart will never be healed. I hope if there is a life after death she can see me and watch over me. I would give anything to hold her again.
I love you mum, and I will miss you forever, and I hope you were taken from us for some other good. You leaving as left the biggest gap in all our lives. This gap will never be filled, and I hope I do get to see you again someday.
Thank you for being the best mum to me for 36 years, you looked after us as best you could. You Rest In Peace now, We played your favourite song at your funeral by Daniel O’Donnell ‘Don’t forget to remember me’ there is no chance of that mum. You are in my heart and that’s where you will always be.
God bless everyone that as lost anyone closes to you. I know that it is the most awful thing to happen, and nothing anyone says will make it any easier.