We lost our Mum and my best friend on 20th July 2012. The moment my young niece had to call me at work and tell me changed my whole world. My mum like everyone’s mum was the single most important person in my life. A day never went by without me calling her, and every Sunday since I left home 6 years ago I’d go back for the best Sunday dinner ever.
My mum was only 67 years old. I had spoken to her the evening before she was found. She was found at the bottom of her stairs, she had fallen down the stairs during the night. She had so much left of her life to live, and she was meant to be in my life for a lot longer than she was.
It’s been 9 weeks without her, and I feel the pain is getting worse. My life is consumed by her. I cannot stop thinking about what we should be doing. We should be having our nightly chats. I should be telling her about my day at work, she should be telling me the local gossip about people I don’t know while wanting to get me off the phone so she could watch Coronation Street. I had planned a surprise holiday for the week after she died, last Christmas day was just me and mum and her cat. Her cat now lives with me. I still text her mobile to tell her I love her.
I cannot see my life without her in it. Although I go to the cemetery every weekend, I am not able to cry, inside I’m crying so much, but it just won’t come out. I don’t know if this is normal, but I just want to let the pain out and cry for her.
My mum is laid to rest beside her best friend, her best friend and next door neighbour for 25 years died 5 years ago, and when the lady at the cemetery showed us a plot for our mum, she showed us that one. We didn’t know where she was buried, and the lady didn’t know we knew her, it was a sign, I believe. – My mum is now buried right beside her best friend. They were neighbours in life, and now they are neighbours in death. This is my only little comfort. My mum missed her so much when she died, knowing they are together side by side again makes me happy.
I pray they are having their old chats again, and my mum is not alone. I know my life will never be the same again, and the hole in my heart will never be healed. I hope if there is a life after death she can see me and watch over me. I would give anything to hold her again.
I love you mum, and I will miss you forever, and I hope you were taken from us for some other good. You leaving as left the biggest gap in all our lives. This gap will never be filled, and I hope I do get to see you again someday.
Thank you for being the best mum to me for 36 years, you looked after us as best you could. You Rest In Peace now, We played your favourite song at your funeral by Daniel O’Donnell ‘Don’t forget to remember me’ there is no chance of that mum. You are in my heart and that’s where you will always be.
God bless everyone that as lost anyone closes to you. I know that it is the most awful thing to happen, and nothing anyone says will make it any easier.

Comments for RIP MUM - I LOVE YOU

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Apr 19, 2014
Don't worry it'll be okay
by: Faiza rani safraz

Don't worry her soul is at peace look at the good things at least she's in a better place this earth is nothing compared to heaven she's away from these killers,stealer s,heart breakers and mean people don't look at the people higher than you who have mothers look at the people lower than you they don't even have family and lots of good friends to support them like you do. 😉😉

Nov 13, 2012
Still in pain
by: Anonymous

Lost my mom on July 19,2012 tragically to breast cancer. We found out about her breast cancer a year back, she was treated and was in remission for a couple of months this year, until we found out in April that there was a relapse and that it was terminal. She was in tremendous pain and on high doses of morphine when she passed away - I will avoid all the details. Over this period, we had multiple opportunities to say good bye and we always did it. We arranged for all her grand kids to visit her just before passing away. She had such a zest for life and wanted to live so badly - she said that so many times. But this dreaded disease would not offer her that. I was with her until 2 days before her death for a couple of months and had to fly again after hearing this. She did not want to go to the hospital for the end and wanted to die at home with her family. We could at least provide her that and we did.

In all this, I am still hounded by only the thoughts in the last 2 months of her life. There was so much pain and I am conflicted in what to make of it. One side of the argument was that it was better for her to go rather than dealing with this amount of pain, but then she was too young to be going through this (62). Did we not provider for her well? She has never thought ill of anybody and had a wonderful circle of friends..why her??

I have my family and I have to be there for them, but I have a feeling that this emptiness will never go away. Ever since she was diagnosed, I stayed in touch with her everyday - and I miss that terribly. I am hoping the other infinitely more pleasant times will come back to the front of my memory and erase the last few months of my time with her..

Nov 02, 2012
by: Anonymous

I lost my mom unexpected 3 weeks ago. I know exactly how you feel when you say that you are crying on the inside and nothing showing on the outside. I keep thinking that I should be showing more emotion outwardly but there hasn't yet been anything that has helped that along. I still feel like it isn't real and I can't change that either. I know that will change, but I just wanted you to know that there was someone else who felt the same way.

Sep 30, 2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Leona I am sorry for your loss of your beloved Mother. You are in the same place as me. I find it hard to cry for my husband Steve of 44yrs. marriage. I think our grief is frozen. We cry inside. I am sure the tears will come in time. It is a shock to the system. I lost Steve coming up to 5 months. I am consumed by thoughts of him but sometimes panic because I can't remember his voice. All I have at the moment is the last 3yrs.39days nursing Steve through a deadly cancer caused by working with asbestos.
I am so glad there is Life after Death. I have believed in God all my Life and this is my HOPE that we have ETERNAL LIFE IN JESUS CHRIST. I accepted him as My Lord and Saviour at the age of 13yrs. when I was baptized and I can't wait to be reunited with my Steve. I MISS HIM. Today has been a very lonely day. Now the winter months are here and it gets dark early I find it especially hard. I hate the dark and the nights. I wish it could be daylight longer all year round.
I hope that you find Peace and Comfort in your grief.

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