My son left after he and some friends from work went to a restaurant to eat, he was 20 yrs old! He was extremely bright! His first job out of high school was Apple an company that says in their employment page you have less than 2 % chance of getting hired! They pick persons that have certain personalities and have a high aptitude in technology! Robert had worked their for 2 1/2 years and was wanting to move into a higher position, it was a virtual position which he finally got 2 wks before he died! He was also a junior at UMKC! He was active in many organizations, he even worked for the senator on her campaign! He left the restaurant that night his phone was down and he used my car because his was in the shop, he also left his wallet at the restaurant! He left and somehow we don't know why he was on a road he never has traveled it was very dark, not many signs, no reflectors, no lights and the road ended where you have a 90% degree angle turn! He didn't see the turn and went straight into some trees and brush land into a pond upside down but the pond was a septum or sewage pond the medical examiner said he drowned in the sewage! He was found 18 days later by some joggers because this was a remote area plus the sewage was surrounded by brush and trees! I buried my beautiful 6 2' good looking super intelligent young man on Aug 26th 2013 ! Can someone tell me how to go on, I just exist I don't live! He had one brother who is 15 and struggling! I can't go in his room, I can't look at pictures and what's weird is I go shopping for a while starting feeling bad come home, work on projects at home and have 3 meltdowns a week! Is this normal some people say they could even go to the grocery store which I do it was hard at first but now I'm okay with it! I'm so broken inside I just want to hear from others who lost their children not counselor and therapist that read a book! I wonder am I still in shock can someone tell me? I was so protective of my kids and worried all the time!!

Comments for Robert

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Jan 11, 2014
Roberts mom
by: Anonymous

Thank you to all of you that commented on my son, it does help to hear from all the love and caring comments from all of you! I read and I also feel such sadness for each and everyone one of you! May God ease your pain for all of you that posted!
I feel connected to all of you, feel your pain and I hope that somehow we can learn to live instead of exist! Our whole world changed, we see everything different now! Life is just life and I'm sure all of us just care less about everything!
I'm hoping to find a way to make something positive out of my sons death so he didn't die in vain!
I want to ask God please ease the pain of all these hurting women in pain of the loss of their child or adult child, please bring them relief !! Since are children are a part of who we are when they died a part of our souls died! It's like being caught between death and life, somehow we have to pull our other 1/2 into the living on this earth!

Love to you all!


Jan 03, 2014
So so sad...
by: Seana

You're post is so sad. I definitely feel your pain and it is the worst pain of all... Why did that have to happen to your son??? So young and healthy... It could never, ever make sense... I am here to help if I ever could, but I'm thinking there's nothing that could help... Know that you are not alone. My beautiful and precious 17 year old son passed on to heaven from a car collision on Nov. 10,2013, and I am also just so so sad... These are the saddest days ever imaginable. Our beautiful sons aren't with us.. And it's wrong....

Dec 18, 2013
by: savana sykora

Its seem a bit misery what happened to your son, I am very sorry and feel very close to you at this moment. I lost my beloved Matthew on 5,27.13. He went to his best friend house, but end up shot dead. I still looking for answer that I may never able to understand such a misery. he would have turned 20 couple day ago, I have a daughter and you have another son to live for, we cant give up, live one day at a time, we have today to live for the best we can, Yoga does help to breath and stress,and stay busy that keep me going, it will get better and tell God to give to peace and get through the days that He numbers for us here. We will reunited to our love one again xoxo

Dec 16, 2013
Your son Robert
by: Anonymous

I am also a grieving mom. I too lost a young (31) son. He was my first born, and the person I loved more than anyone else. He was tall, athletic, smart, (graduated from a great University with an advanced degree). This is our first Christmas without him. I did not decorate, or shop for anything in particular. I have a few things for people. Don't have my heart into it. Not sure I ever will. My life is not the same, it is tinged with sadness. I think about him and miss him every minute. Its only when I'm busy, that I don't think about him. So I try to stay busy. I just keep saying "Why did it happen" and that "I want him back". I just can't believe he is gone. Yes losing a child is the worst. I hope all who belong to my club can get through the season ok. I remember saying to my son last New Years Day, Maybe this will be a good year! He said he wanted it to be. Sadley he was gone less than five months later. The finality of death is enormous.

Dec 16, 2013
by: Wendy, Kyle's Mom

Tears came to my eyes while reading your post. I believe it is absolutely true that other losses, although difficult, don't come close to the crushing blow of losing a child. I lost my 21 year old son in 2009. I still have not been able to put up holiday decorations since he died, this is the 5th Christmas. My Father-In-Law died about 4 weeks ago. In some ways, it felt like a natural progression of life to lose an older family member. To lose a child is NOT the natural order of our lives. Because of this, our comprehension is broken as far as we know it.

I wish you peace where you can find it, love from your surviving children and your Robert's memory to soon bring you comfort in every way.

Dec 15, 2013
by: Doreen UK

You are not unusual to be protective of your children. Most parent are. I still worry about my Adult children. It is a parents worst nightmare to lose any of their children. If you have 3 meltdowns a week it is because your grief is so strong and painful. There is no normal in grief. Grief unfolds as it does and finds us where we are at. For some this may be crying all day to recovery some days and the cycle starting all over again with us wondering when it will stop, or will it get easier? Grief is different for everyone, but the pain is the same but could be much stronger for many and they can't cope with the loss and the emotions which is why some people see a counsellor or therapist who I may add are human and go through the same experiences and loss's as we do. Often their approach may sound clinical due to their training and also their boundaries. But they feel and hurt as we all do. I hope you find healing and strength in your sorrow and that you will have supportive people in your life to help ease your burden of grief till it gets easier.

Dec 15, 2013
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your son Robert at such a young age and in such a devastating way that any parent would feel as you do. I can't imagine exactly how you feel but to lose a child/adult child is the worst experience a mother or any parent can go through. The circumstances in which Robert died will make your grief worse. My nephew at the age of 30yrs died under a train and left us paralysed for a long time. I can't believe how my sister has healed somewhat from this loss. She could not cope and needed a counsellor to come to her home and pick her up and help her. This is how she got through it. Even counsellors and therapists go through the same experiences as we go through only they have to set boundaries and be professional so may appear they are clinical in their approach and support. If I didn't have counselling some years ago I would have ended my life. I lost my husband to a deadly cancer 19 months ago and I often feel their is nothing left to live for. My children are 44yrs.42yrs.33yrs. and if I had to lose any of them I would be feeling the same way you do now. All I did was take one day at a time
as I don't know how to go forward beyond each day.
All I can do is pray that God comforts you in your grief and gives you his peace and help you each day to cope with what is the worst devastating experience of life. I am so sorry for your loss of your son Robert.

Dec 14, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

I lost my son,I understand your grief! One year I have somehow lived or as you so rightly said,existed. My son was 39 and age matters not,it's our child!!! My heart was torn in pieces ,putting them back together leaves not much of a heart.
It hurts, pains, sorrows us beyond any words! This site has helped me endure because others on her know what I am going through. We are all on the mourning bench together. At different times we endure better than other times when we break down and loose it. It is the hardest road in life ever. I'm sorry for your loss ,how tragic a story. My heart goes out to you.

Dec 14, 2013
by: Michelle

I am no therapist, just a grieving mother who buried her 22year old daughter. It will be 1year January 8th and there may be 4 days that I have not cried. I am so very sorry for your loss. I honestly believe the only ones who understand are those of us who have lost a child. It is humanly impossible for those to fathom the pain we are in day in and day out. For almost one year my husband and I have simply existed, no more. I ran to the store early this morning in hopes of not running into anyone I know but that was not the case. The woman told me how sorry she was and how she still waits for her brother to walk through the door. I wish people would understand that no words are the best ones spoken. I have hated everyone and everything since that very day. Meltdowns? I have them all the time. There are days I can just sit and stare at her picture and other days i can not. You are the walking wounded, scars cut through to your very core but no one sees them. You no longer look in your closet for clothes to put on, you now search for a face to put on. I looked at my husband just the other day ans said to him " I have no idea how we have made it this far". When you feel you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on tight.

Dec 14, 2013
by: Marge

What a very, very sad story and a tragic end to a young man with such a promising future. I am sure it is difficult for you to lose him at such a young age and especially under those circumstances. I feel so bad for you. I lost my youngest son in Feb. 2012 and he was 50 and I had him for that long, but it was still not long enough. It will take you a long time to adjust to your son's death. I am still dealing with mine after all this time. Try to remember the wonderful memories you have of him and you have to be there for your other son. I am so sorry.

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