Rock Bottom

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Rock Bottom

I have read others blogs saying the eight month mark is brutal. I am seven and a half months down this road and brutal this time is. I have gone onto antidepressants and am now seeing a councilor. I am hoping this will help. I know that they can not take the pain away but it is a safe place to say what you feel, as everybody else expects you to carry on as normal, but what is normal in our situation. The emptiness that you carry with you all the time can be like a bottomless pit of blackness. I feel like a hamster running on an endless wheel.

Hugs to all on this site and may you all find peace tonight

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Rock Bottom

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Rock bottom dwelling
by: Anonymous

I'm at 22 months after the unexpected death of my 44 year old husband. The second year has been much more difficult than the first. I think the shock wears off and at some point you realize that grief is not so temporary. It's something we adjust to living with as well as all the life changes that we are forced to endure and negotiate. I have felt everything you've written. Things will eventually get better and you will learn how to handle your grief as the waves hit. Support groups are very indispensable if you can attend - you are not alone. Best to you along this journey we don't want to be on.

Rock Bottom means the only way to go is up
by:

The people on this site will listen when those who are supposed to care for us go deaf. I think that they do not know how to handle grief, they are uncomfortable with it. And it scares them witless that it could be them walking in our shoes.

Please come here often read and know that you are not alone. Keep a journal write in that as though you are writing to them. If you can draw have any ability or even if you do not draw your emotions. I did one winter day and I can not even draw a stick man. Keeping busy helps but you may run into something that reminds you of them. Shove it in a drawer and go on to something else.

My best to you in this long road of grief. We have all walked it and really do understand. One breath one step at a time...
HH

Rock Bottom
by: TrishJ

Just as I thought things were getting better ~it will soon be 7 months for me ~ I feel like I'm back at square one. I've been going through this dark period where I feel like I didn't let my husband be himself.....I blamed him for too many things....I fought with him when I shouldn't have...on and on and on. I miss him more right now than I have at any point of this horrific journey. I'm about to start litigation over his death and I think that's what really has me going. My son's old high school girl friend is my attorney so I know she will be gentle with me and get me through this. This is something I have to do....not for monetary gain but to make sure the VA never treats another veteran like they did him. I think I'm overwhelmed with all of that right now.
It is rock bottom. I feel like I'm trying to keep a beach ball submerged in the water and it keeps wanting to pop up.....out of the water because it's full of air. Most days it feels like a no win situation. Then, out of the blue, I have a really good day.
I pray for all of us who are grieving on this site. It's not pretty but we all do the best we can. Peace to you. Hoping for a better day tomorrow, for all of us.
PJ

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Rock Bottom