I feel like I am on a roller coaster. One day I am sitting on the floor bawling my eyes out wishing it were me instead of him who had to go. Then some days I get up thinking I can do this. But you know it is always I can do this but I really don't want to do it for a long time. I can get by. And basically that is all I am doing. But the thought of being without him for years and years is unbearable. I'll do it for a while but please, I don't want this pain for years. I miss him so much and honestly have no life without him.