Ron 1959 to 2013

by Karen
(Knoxville, TN)

weddin day

weddin day

Ron, born in Illinois, raised in Florida, moved to Knoxville Tennessee, before I ever knew him. I know very little about his life until he was 45 years old, and that’s a lot to leave out of his space.
He had an abusive cruel father that he never really managed to completely forgive, though I know that deep under the anger he still loved, even if he didn’t want to. His mother, whom he loved more than life itself, he lost to cancer when he was in his early 30’s. He never really got over the loss. His brother and three sisters, and their families, who all still live in Florida, he didn’t see for years at a time, but he loved and worried about them always. He was devastated when he lost his older sister to cancer a few years back.
His life was by no means saintly; he did 8 years for drugs, in the 80's, after he got out of the army.
He had several failed relationships, two failed marriages, and an alcohol addiction that revisited him on odd occasions even after he had gotten it under control.
When I met him, he had just moved to Knoxville with nothing but a few hundred dollars in his pocket, homeless, jobless, and though he would never admit it, he had to be scared. He found a job and an apartment within a few days and then began to build a new life for himself. I was blessed to be part of that new life. We met almost one year to the day he arrived here, online, amazingly enough.
He was without a doubt the kindest, gentlest man anyone ever met. He took on my teenage daughter, and helped me finish raising her. He loved her when she wasn’t particularly loveable; worried about her as much as I did, and protected her like she was his own.
He was great with his hands. We bought an old rundown house which he single handedly had half remodeled before he passed. He held down a full time job and still did computer repair, which he taught himself, on the side.
In February of 2012, he had a perforated ulcer in his stomach. His Dr. said he would probably not survive the surgery. He was a tough old bird, he survived, and he survived again when they had to go back in and repair it a few days later. When he was finally released from the hospital, he fell, and we thought he had injured his back, but the Dr. diagnosed arthritis.
A year later, he began to have chest pain, and went to the Dr. They said it wasn’t his heart, but pneumonia. After two weeks of treatment he wasn’t getting better, he was getting worse. I took him back to the hospital, where they did a biopsy of his lung, and he was diagnosed with lung cancer on the 18th. After more tests it was determined that he also had cancer in his liver, brain, and bones, including his spine.
He was working with cancer of the spine for almost a year. The strength and determination this must have taken boggles the mind. He was the most amazing man and he loved us so much that he just wouldn’t quit.
He left behind a wife who loves him more than life itself, a step daughter, step son, and daughter in law who miss him and a two month old granddaughter who will never know how much he loved her.

Comments for Ron 1959 to 2013

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Mar 16, 2013
Ron 1959 to 2013
by: Doreen U.K.

Karen I am sorry for your loss of your beloved husband Ron. You were a good influence on Ron that gave him the motivation and desire to make life better for all of you. It matters not how people mess up their lives along the path of life with all its obstacles. The Joy is in finding one's way back from the brink and making life worthwhile. Sometimes all one needs a good break in life and a chance to make life work better for self and those around them.
You were blessed to have a man who could father your children and do it well. It is sad what happened to Ron in his life. I often wonder how life turns against us when we are on the right track and doing it right and then cut down in the prime of one's life. Ron had more than earned his right to a life with favour and for you both to have years of fulfilment and happiness. We find there are no guarantees in life that we will get what we want. Having lost my own husband of 44yrs. 10 months ago to Lung cancer caused by working with asbestos is a hard disease to conquer and live through without having death on one's mind. Often we can fight as much as we want and this curse of a disease will claim another life. Cancer becomes a scourge of our lifetime claiming more and more lives and tearing families apart. I am sorry for your loss in a world that is causing more and more women to lose their husband's to death from cancer and other sudden tragedies that fracture us more and more leaving a trail of wounded spirits for a long long time. I hope you will have good supportive family and friends to walk with you in your valley of tears and grief.

Mar 15, 2013
by: Kate

I so sorry for your loss. This is the place to come for understanding. One day at a time . It's no easy road.
But here we struggle onward as we must. Your love shines on
And no one can change that.

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