Ron Serediuk - February 19, 1964 - April 9, 2012

In loving memory of my partner Ron Serediuk

February 19, 1964 - April 9, 2012

A message from my heart to your soul: Ron, you were and are the love of my life, my partner, my best friend, my loving companion. We can’t control our destiny. We have to accept it and do the best we can to cope. The fact is that we are all going to die. It is just how we cope with that fact and the trials and tribulations that we go through are what define our character. As you often said, “What will happen will happen”. It is for those left behind to deal with it the best we can. I believe God gives us strength and understanding when we are faced with such tragedies. We cannot escape the pain and grief. It is up to us as to whether we gain strength or collapse from it. I hope that I have the strength and wisdom to understand that life is precious but transitory and the joy that we had will be countered with the same degree – deep and intense joy and love will lead to deep and intense grief and despair – the price we have to pay for the blessing we have received. Without the chance for you to say goodbye, you left me. I miss you so and I am broken hearted. When I'm alone and grasping for memories, I am blessed with the vision of your smile, the memories of the warmth of your touch and the sound of your voice. I know you loved me very much. You were my soul mate and made life worth living. The love we shared will carry me for the rest of my days. My tears fuel the fire of love lost and I look forward to joining you in eternity. You left far too soon, I have so much love left over. Our time together was cut short, but God does not make mistakes. I trust his promise and can only imagine the joy of sharing eternity with you.

Thank you for loving me.

Your loving companion,

Comments for Ron Serediuk - February 19, 1964 - April 9, 2012

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Apr 09, 2013
it's been one year....
by: Ted

April 9, 2013


It’s been one year…since you “transitioned to the afterlife”. I remember those first few moments, minutes, hours, days, months…vividly…...curling up on our bed or the chesterfield and crying…and hurting…physical pain and anguish that just can’t be described in words.

It’s been one year…I’m not the man I was when I looked into the mirror that last morning. I never will be. I may look the same on the outside, but the inside has been completely rearranged.

I haven’t forgotten…I’ll never forget. I remember. I remember the good times, the laughter, the love, and the shared joy. I also remember the bad times that we shared...together.... That is the hard part, remembering all those times as shared times...that we often recalled as “remember when”... can’t do that anymore... that makes me so sad...

I haven’t played cribbage much since you left...we both enjoyed the game and the challenge of who would beat whom...but it was more the shared conversation and discussion that occurred around and during those games that I miss. It was like the cribbage board was our board of life and it wasn’t who counted first or the most, it was going up and down the board together and discussing everything was representative of our life together. Not a race to the end, but each of us “counting” on one another and watching each other’s moves in life...

It’s been one year...since the worst day of my life. It’s been the worst year of my life. One year since I held your hand and listened as the doctors and nurses said they’d done all they could. One year since I kissed you, since I last held your hand to my face, and said goodbye. I did the best I could. The very best I could. I loved you fiercely, unconditionally and completely. I have grieved you deeply... and I still do... I did the best I could with what I was given. It wasn't always pretty. It wasn't neat and orderly. It was never comfortable. In fact, it was downright horrific. It still is...

But I'm still year later I'm still standing... I don’t know how or why...but I am...

As you often mentioned Ron, I am/was so glad to be a friend of your moms’. You loved her so much, and it was/is so important that she loved me as your friend and companion. She and I have an incredible bond that very few can share – she was there for your first breath...I was there for your last breath...and in between those breaths we both shared your deep and unconditional love...

It’s been one year...the hardest part of loving someone is letting them go...I don’t know that I will ever let go of you have etched a permanent mark on my heart and in my memory... No matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken...

Until we meet again,


Oct 22, 2012
maybe next week...
by: Ted

I lived a life for so long in my adulthood not knowing that which I was missing out on. Then I met Ron, and I knew that my life would never be the same – it was instant love for me! I knew love. I knew the power of love. I knew the honour of loving a man with passion and desire. I knew the honour of caring for a man that needed me and I knew the honour of walking with a man towards his death with peace, love and dignity. At the risk of sounding self-righteous, I feel like I was somehow chosen to help Ron prepare to exit this world, and to send him off knowing that he was loved with all my heart and he loved, appreciated and trusted me completely. I am a very fortunate man in that I found love, and love found me...

Maybe Next Week

My life is so lonely
I miss you so much
Your laughter, your smile
Your touch

It all seems so pointless
Without you to share
So little to live for
With no one to care

My heart is so heavy
The sadness I feel
I struggle each day
The pain is so real

Like a torch in the darkness
Our lives so entwined
Without you to guide me
I'm suddenly blind

Sunrise each day
Where do I start
We were always together
Never apart

But now it's just me
A new trail to blaze
Looking for purpose
I'm lost in a daze
A reason to live
Is all that I seek
Past the tears and the sadness
....maybe next week.

Oct 21, 2012
sorry to hear
by: Daniel

I did not realise Ron had passed away, I met Ron a few years back, he talked about atiques, and what his intrests were, we became freinds right away, we chatted online a few times, but lost touch, I offer my sincere condolences to you Ted, if there is anything i can do please feel free to message me.

Sep 20, 2012
authentic love
by: Ted

Authentic love...
It is now over 5 months since Ron died (there, I can say it now...) and I still grieve deeply for him. At times I sob uncontrollably, at other times it’s just a tear trickling down my
cheek(s). Sometimes it’s a huge lump rising up in my throat that causes me to lose my breath. It can be out of the blue, when a particular song plays on the radio, when I pass a place where we would go, think of an activity we did together...or just when I walk into the apartment and there is “hey babe” or “there you are”. Life has gone on without him, with daily struggles. Family and friends ask in passing “how are you doing”, with genuine concern. However, little do they know how much I hurt as I tend to put up a barrier to expressing/exposing my feelings as I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable or to shun me because I’m always bringing the mood down. This is a journey I have to travel alone – with their support and guidance from the sidelines – no time to call in a “designated hitter”. My feelings vacillate from one extreme to another – anger, regret, disappointment, fear, trepidation, satisfaction, relief....just a mixed bag of everything and every emotion. The loneliness is overwhelming (especially at night and on weekends) and I tend to drink too much, watch too much TV, and just avoid doing anything as I just don’t feel up to it. Oh, sometimes I’ll force myself to go out for a walk and sit in a public area maybe having a coffee or a drink and watching people go by – I basically am a people watcher. However, I feel sad in seeing them walking as couples, close friends, laughing and used to make me jealous that they have I am envious to the point of feeling like I should casually mention to some of them to enjoy what you have as tomorrow it may be gone forever. Does that make me morose? I don’t know...I tend to think that it is a natural reaction...and that gradually it will recede. I’ve stopped trying to justify what happened or why Ron had to die (and so suddenly), as it cannot be changed – “it is what it is”. I do struggle with questions of myself in did I do enough, were there things I should have picked up on and acted on sooner, would it have had any effect on the eventual outcome....I doubt it, but it will always linger in my thoughts. I do know he loved me deeply as I loved him and we both recognized how special our love was for each other. Ron often asked me why I did this or that (when I would bring home something new for us or our apartment or bring some flowers for no reason, etc.) and I would tell him because it gave me great pleasure in doing things for him (and us) and sharing things with him – including my feelings. I guess that is what I have come to realize as “authentic love”. I am happy that I had that to share with Ron.

Sep 05, 2012
for the moment....
by: Ted

I have read many stories about living for the moment with some degree of comfort that Ron and I were “living for the moment”. The longer Ron and I were living together, the more his comfort level was in telling me things (the good, the bad and the sometimes very ugly) and I saw him reaching out more as he became more comfortable and happy with himself, us, and life in general. I am certain he did not have a premonition or diagnosis he did not share with me – he just was comfortable and happy and feeling loved and learning how to be loved and to trust in someone completely. I saw him reach out and (re)establish contact with friends from his past with me beside him – not just him – that meant he was accepting of us and happy and proud of “us” as a couple. I saw him re-establish contact with friends and family. I saw him making peace with some of his past – including relationships - that he had never shared with anyone else before - and was continually sharing more; so many of these things he kept to himself and I’m sure weighed very heavily on him and now he had me to slowly open up some of these “Pandora boxes” with. He enjoyed spending time with me on the chesterfield going through his family pictures and keepsakes and providing the background, etc. – as though acknowledging that he now finally had someone to share these “things”, past and present and in the future, with. I saw him enjoying his visits with his mom and telling her every time we left that he loved her. I saw him reach out to his former “best friend” and “best man” when he noticed his mom’s obituary in the paper earlier this winter (he had turned his back on Ron when he “came out”). His best friend did not wish to talk to Ron at that time when Ron called him to offer his condolences; however, he re-contacted Ron a few weeks before Ron died and they had a good discussion, had made their peace, and agreed we should all meet for a beer in the near future. Ron was excited about our future together, our new company, our pending trip to Atlantic Canada, “our” apartment and so many other things. I have come to realize that one of the “watershed moments” of being with Ron after life support disconnect, and holding his hand as it slowly turned cold, I can now think of in a positive way as I will always be eternally grateful that Ron provided/allowed me the privilege of being the one there with him that making those tough decisions on his behalf and sharing in his last moments and that I will cherish it, and the faith he had in me to do the right thing(s), and the trust he placed in me, rather than dread the memory or the weight of the responsibility. I can only imagine the agony of some people that have not been with their loved ones when they have died suddenly, as well as the pain for someone to die all alone without their loved one beside them-Ron did not die alone nor unloved – in the end, I guess that’s the epitome of what we all want at the end of our life!

Aug 24, 2012
thanks everyone
by: Ted

The comments received have been very kind, and helpfull. It is sometimes so difficult for those left behind, but we have to be open to help, "signs" from your loved ones (and they will appear in unusual ways) and supportive friends and relatives. DO NOT turn away from friends - you cannot go thro this alone, and true friends will always be there for you - as you will be for their time of need. I am in the year of "the last of the firsts" - the first moment alone after his death when it is no longer "us' but just "me", the first day, first anniversaries (of whatever), first travel alone, first b'day...eventually covering off all the annual events you would have celebrated together over the 365 days of the year. I always say inwardly (and sometimes outwardly) "Ron, do you see this or hear this or feel this" and I am sure he does. Life will go on, it will be different, but I value the perspective that he provided me (even in his death) to look at life differently - that is part of his legacy to me! I have confidence that my grief will evenually turn into treasured memories - the process will be long and painful - however, I also know that I grieve as deep and complete as what our love was for each other. The deep and intense pain validates our love - however, it cannot be allowed to become the defining moment of our love. At Ron's service in April, his memorial card ended with his favorite saying "don't be glad" - I also placed this on the bottom of his memorial plaque. I provided attendees a gift bag of 3 gladiola bulbs and now as I visit with family and friends, those flowers are starting to bloom in their yards - it is a perpetual reminder in a very positive way that is shared with so many - he is still here with us in spirit and memory... My stories will continue...

Aug 23, 2012
Angel Nieves 1940-2012.
by: Ronald

I lost my partner, Angel, May 3rd 2012 after 33 wonderful years together. he had a terrible battle with cancer. I am having difficulty coping even after 3 months and I walk around in a daze every day not knowing how I will end up. I have cut myself off from all my friends because I feel they are bored with my grieving and they have their own lives to lead after all.
Reading your posting makes me know that I am not alone but sometimes I think that I loved Angel too much and am now paying the price.
I bookmarked your page so I can go back to it often as I (like you) try to get my life back to some sort of order.
Thanks again from Ronald.

Aug 23, 2012
I shre in your grief.
by: Ronald

I lost my beloved partner, Angel, May 3rd 2012 after a terrible battle with cancer. We were together for 33 wonderful years. It's been 4 months now and I cry every day. I feel I will never make it through this process but I suppose I will. Every day is a challenge and most of the time I walk around in a daze not believing what has happened to us. It's just not fair.
I have cut myself off from my friends because I think I will bore them with my grief.
You wrote a nice piece and I will read it over and over so I will not feel so alone anymore.
Thank you for helping me.

Aug 10, 2012
Ted, thank you for sharing
by: Jillian

Dear Ted,
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your partner Ron. I found your tribute to Ron both moving and comforting.

He sounded a fantastic person. I hope in time it will bring you comfort that he chose to be with you.

I am grieving my mum who died unexpectantly on May 22 2012. We were very close and I loved her very much.


Aug 10, 2012
by: John

Ted , I am inspired by your strength and eloquence. I lost my partner Mark on May 2. I miss him so so much. Thanks for allowing me to read your intelligent words concerning your Ron.

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