Rowan was my husbands name
(Christchurch, New Zealand)
He was the most beautiful man I had ever (will ever) known. He was generous, kind, fun, supportive, and so many other such words. He was only 44yrs old, we had been married for 8yrs and six weeks after the birth of our baby girl he went away for work and that was the last time I would see him alive. Rowan suffered a major heart attack, alone in a hotel room. This is one of the hardest things to accept, that he wasn't at home. There are so many if onlys and whys and even though you know there is no point to them you can't help but ask. I now have to raise our daughter by myself, and I am so thankful that I have her to make my days more bearable but it's all so unfair that she won't ever know a half of herself, we don't even have one photo of the three of us. I am 34yrs old, a mum, a widow, I make it through each day because I have no choice but I miss him so much. I could go on, but the tears have now made it hard to read the screen. I am sorry to all of you out there that have also lost your hearts, at least we had them for sometime, it's more than a lot of people.