roy was a miracle.

by Linda Moffitt

My brother had a stroke, I was there for him all the time, the night before he died the first time, I knew it, I have gut feelings, the next morning he died, in the hospital, they worked on his for 35 min, they put a tube in and saved his life, prior to this he was being treated for tongue cancer, treatment stopped, he was in the hospital for 3 weeks, those 3 weeks caused his cancer to grow more, he suffered for 5 more months, throwing up blood, huge tumors in his neck, pain in his head, his wife did not bathe him , change his clothes, he ended up with a bed sore, no one was allowed to bathe him because of her jealousy, I am so angry at her, she bathe and changed her clothes. Because Roy and i were close she said I could do anything in his casket, tea roses in the shape of a heart, I called and ordered them and called the funeral home, the next day the funeral home called me and said she changed her mind and i couldn't do it, I became very upset, cancelled the order, I slept there, I'm the one who adored him, his house is full of dead mice, at night they crawl all over the floor, on the counters dishes, mice poop, my brother had a feeding tube in at one point, the rest of the house looked like a pig sty, my brothers words...after his death she stopped talking to me.....after every thing I have done, I'm so sick in side I want to die, Roy was 63, I'm 62, we never fought, he was my childhood friend.....a week after his death, I had to get ready for my daughters nursing graduation party, all the while crying, Roy asked me to still have it. There is so much more that happened...fighting at the funeral....I'm sick...I can't family just uses me.....

Comments for roy was a miracle.

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 13, 2013
roy was a miracle
by: Doreen U.K.

Linda I am sorry for your loss of Roy. I just feel so sad that Roy's wife did not care for him in any way in which he needed to be cared for. Roy must have felt abandoned and so alone. Thank God he had YOU. I feel so angry when even human decency doesn't prevail when one is so ill and struggling with pain and illness.
My husband was ill with terminal cancer for over 3yrs. and I couldn't think of deserting him. I made sure I was at his side all the time. I was his caregiver all this time till he died 14 months ago. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him. I injured myself lifting him all alone. He wanted to die at home so I cared for him in his own surroundings. Times the phone, doorbell, and husband needing to go the bathroom all at the same time. It was horrendous. But I made myself stronger by never giving up. He was the LOVE OF MY LIFE for 47yrs. 44yrs. of those married. Because the funeral did not go off well and there was fighting you say, this is why you are feeling so unhappy and having a tough grief. Try and see a grief counsellor or group so you have the support you need when you need this. With counselling you will have the space to talk and even be helped raise your self esteem so that you will become stronger and stand up to your family, so that they don't use you. Often when one comes from a family with no boundaries then families can take advantage of weaker people from within the framework of that family and can get locked into a cycle of doing what the family wants. Often this carries on because one is not expected to know how to break free from this cycle. It is possible to break free but would need the support of a trained counsellor. I have done this so know it works. I hope you get the support you need and are able to move forward with your life and know you don't have to let your family use you. You can break free from this cycle of co-dependency.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Sibling.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!