Sad, and Alone
I am new to this site and have read through some of the stories and have found them to be very helpful.
I was in a relationship for 8 years…8 wonderful years. We were not married (please don’t judge there were reasons) but he was my best friend. We decided to go our separate ways one month ago, and I’m so lost. We had been dealing with a few issues that we could not seem to resolve and life just got in the way…I wake up every morning wondering how it all went away. Morning and nights are the worst. I find myself picturing him relaxing at home with me, laughing or making a mess in the kitchen. I dream of him every night and when I wake the pain just rushes in and I have to remember that he’s gone.
We no longer have contact and I just don’t know what to do with all the memories…if I don’t keep myself busy I just cry. I had so many hopes and dreams for us and I don’t know how to move on. I can’t imagine going to dinner or out on the town with anyone else. I miss his hands, his skin, his smell, his smile…I just keep waiting for the pain to go away but it doesn’t.
The holidays were the worst and my birthday is next week and I don’t assume that will be any better either. I feel so foolish because of all this. I mean it’s just a break up right? But there is a hole that is missing and I feel like I’m living someone else’s life now.