Sad but Grateful Mom
I had to let my daughter go on September 1. Each day since has been so empty and lonely. She was my only child and best friend. I lost my brother years ago and my father just last year but this loss was very different for me. I don't think I will ever recover. I am so grateful to have had her for 31 years.
I'm caring for my aged mom who is suffering from many illnesses and needs a lot of help. I still work and take over her care when I come home. I feel I can do better but it's hard to just keep going.
Some days are like a blur. When I finally have time in the evening the tears come like rain. Although it hurts I look forward to being able to dedicate my thoughts to her. I want to keep her sweet smile and beautiful face alive in my memory. At Christmas no one spoke of her. I think they were afraid it would hurt me. It hurt me more that her name was not mentioned. I know they thought they were doing the right thing. I'm searching for purpose in my life.
I appreciate being able to tell some of my story. I could write volumes about my daughter's life. The story of a beautiful young woman who lit up the room she entered. She had a beautiful voice and was so caring. It was her wish to be an organ donor and so saved many lives. I'm proud of her but I miss her more than I can express. Sometimes it feels I cannot breath. My love for her will live as long as I do and hopefully I will join her someday. I just want to get through each day now and figure out why I'm here and what I'm supposed to do. I read every blog and every publication I can...seeking help. Thank you for listening and for sharing your stories...they help.